Yaya gue tau, judul postnya geje. Mood gue emang lagi geje. Entah kenapa gue lagi sebel sama semua orang. Pengennya ngomel terus. Mungkin karena gue ngantuk kali? Tapi tadi pas mo nyoba tidur malah gak bisa. Ada apa dengan jiwaku ini? Sakitkah? Aku tak tahu (Ngomong ala Fahri)
Blogger nyebelin banget sih. Masa pas gue buka list of posts gitu, gue mo edit post kemaren, mo ganti fontnya doang, pas disave malah gak keganti, n seribu kali gue edit gak keganti. BLOGGER RESE

Hooff satu-satunya yang hari ini bikin gue seneng chat sm Nate. Tapi terpaksa gue bilangin gue mo nonton, jadi gue hrs off, tpi sebenarnya gue gak nonton sih, gue gak enak aja 'cewe itu' ol, so mending gue off aja drpd ganggu mereka chat. Yah whatever. Gue ttp masi girangsiul. Aneh betapa orang yg kita syg mampu mencerahkan hari yang gelap dan suram. Oh oh aneh betapa gue berbicara seperti ini +_+

Gue jadi males banget ngedit foto, gak ada semangat. Gue punya banyak ide, tpi males bikinnya, pengennya ngeliat pas udah jadi doang

Gue gak sabaran tanggal 1 agustus datang. Penasaran kenapa? Tanya kenapa! Karena.. buku series Twilight akan nyampe di bookstore-nya mall Citystars di hari itu! Yihaa! Mudah-mudahan bonyok gue mau ngasi gue uang buat beli buku tersebut. Dan semoga film Twilight cepat keluar, karena gue dah gak sabaran ngeliat Robert Pattinson seperti apa disitu. Oh kangen aku dengannya. Hahah najis.
Talking bout moooovies, gue baru aja nonton Kungfu Panda. Jangan ketawa gitu dong karena gue baru tonton sekarang. Gue ada alasan yang masuk akal: bokek. Kalo gue masuk bioskop, gue mau beli popcorn rasa caramel nanti. EUWNAK
Balik ke yang tadi, Kungfu Panda gak terlalu seru ah. Malah terlalu pendek filmnya. Yah bagus sih pas berantem-berantemnya. Lumayan kocak. Terus yang furious five gak terlalu banyak ngomong. Jadi gimana gitu. Ah pokoknya 2 bintang setengah deh buat film ini. Kerenan film Narnia (Prince Caspian), tadi gue nonton lagi. Soalnya Prince Caspiannya sama Edmund sama Peternya cakep-cakep semua. Pengen gue peluk satu-satu ngayal

Udah ah, bosen ngisi ginian. Mana gak bisa tidur lagi. Huff bete bete bete!!



I'M SO OUTRAGED!!!!!!!!! wtfstressmarah2
Guess what?
I couldn't sleep again. Fine. I've slept. I've slept when i had just came home from a basketball practice at midnight. The practice was great. I got to meet a cute playmaker. But he looked old. I mean in age. I don't know why i make big deals bout being in a close relationship with boys who're now in college. They're just..... old, you know ngaistanah.
Back to the goddamn sleeping trouble. I was in bed. Sleepy. Zzz. I thought i'd read something so i'd get more sleepy. That way, i'll sleep quicker. My thought was right. I slept right away.
Then what?
I woke up.
i didn't remember i had nightmares. NO NIGHTMARES.
For god's sakes, i don't know what's gotten into me.
I'm thinking of buying sleeping pills...

I miss him.
God, i miss him so much nangis


Love, a sweet torment

Yuck! What made me think of naming this post like that? I'll tell you. But later. mandi

#1 Dede's 14th Birthday.
Destination: Our Usual Basketball Court.

It was Friday night. Me and the rest decided to make a surprise party for Dede. Coz she's been so special to each of us. So the birthday plan was..? Surprising her by buying her a birthday cake! Hey, it's not lame. It's sweet, (talking bout the cake).
Anyway, as usual, we play basketball at around 7 PM. About sunset time in Cairo. It's a perfect time for a perfect weather, not too hot, no too cold. And also, as usual, we finish playing at about 11. Late night. Coz the place closes at 12. Dede's birthday is supposed to be on July 19th. But this Friday it's 18. So we figured that we could just give her the surprise party at 12 sharp. Get it?
And when it was about to come. Dede was picked up by her mother and her big sister. She immediately ran to the car coz she thought that we wanted to throw her eggs and stuff like that. (A silly traditional way of celebrating someone's birthday). I chased her to the car and dragged her arm (i know, i'm so rough! catwoman). But she wouldn't want to get out of the car. Luckily, my friends were so brilliant to bring the cake to the car so she'd be surprised. Oh man, it worked! She was surprised! She even cried!! (Tears of Joyaww). I almost cried too +_+ But the fun part was The Cake-Sticky-Creme-Throwing. I figured, instead of throwing ourselves eggs, which is really old fashioned, why don't we start a new one by throwing chocolate sticky cake cremes? And then the war began. We were all gross and our face was filled with disgusting creamy cremes! (does that make sense?). I felt like my body was ready to be ants' food. Coz the creme was sugary batuk2
I'm sure Dede will never forget that day ngayal

2# Destination: Arabella.

Owkay, i know you guys probably are so bored of hearing my tales of visiting Arabella. But it's really nice to be there, you know. It's like the only peaceful place in Cairo. I don't even feel like I'm in Egypt whenever I'm there. berendem
Anyway, this visit was much more special than before. Yeah my brother was with me too. But he wasn't as naughty as he was the weeks before.
So, first thing. I started off the day suckily (this isn't even a word, but you know what i mean mrgreen). Actually, i began sleeping in the morning, at around 8. Dede was staying with us coz her parents couldn't take her back. And, you know, we talked and talked and talked till it was sunrise. And still, we kept talking and laughing. Until... we slept and woke up at twelve something.. it doesn't matter. WE SHOULD'VE BEEN ON THE WAY AT 11! Arabella is pretty far. But it's always worth it.
We quickly stood up and raced to the bathroom. We didn't take shower coz we vowed that we'd swim in the pool right away the moment we'd get there. Mom made us some breakfast and we quickly ate up. After that, we went to dad's car so his friend would lift us there. Dad couldn't coz he had a meeting.
On the road, at first the car was fine, was going fine. But then, super-bad-luckily, the engine stopped, right after when we'd just filled it with oil! What was wrong with it? No thankfulness! Stupid car. It said that the battery was too hot. So, it had nothing to do with oil. Fine, i got the idea but they shouldn't have made it so clear. They knew a 15 year old girl don't get mechanics or any car stuff!belajar
It was pathetic that the car stopped at a really hot area. Where our lefts and rights were just deserts and sand. Nothing else. gerah1 But me and Dede were cool, coz we knew that there's a gift for whoever has patience. (The gift was? Swimming mrgreen)
But patience has limits demam. Finally, mom called dad to help us with the goddamn car. So, dad raced off riding a taxi to us. He was such a hero terharu. He told us to just take a Taxi to Arabella, since it wasn't that far left. But mom told us that Dede's mother would take us there. And finally, she really came and rescued us from the desert hell.
The moment we've arrived, we saw a trampoline next to the pool. So it was like a diving thingy. You jump from the trampoline to the pool, get it? Yeah, something like that. Me & Dede were freakin hot and we got totally exhilarated when we saw the trampoline and the pool gyahahaha. So we swam and swam and splashed and got wet till we've gotten tired and cold. The weather was windy that day kedinginan.
Anyway, after the swimming thingy. We did a little karaoke with Tante Siti. The one who owned the house. Well, the real owner was her sister, Tante Azizah, but she was off the country and left her two kids whom i've told you about. Angel and Jason. Oh ok I didn't mention Jason, i guess. Me and Tante Siti sang alot of songs. Her voice was really good. I think she does Karaoke alot. She likes my voice too jadimalu2. (Yikes)
Ok that was all what we did there. I didn't take pictures. But I'll show you a picture of me and Angel that was taken weeks before.
Ain't she so cute? No difference with me jadimalu1 (narcism mode: on)

3# Destination: Dede's.

After spending time at Arabella, I went to Dede's house coz my parents couldn't take me. The stupid car was being fixed at the garage. Where it belongs +_+ So Dede's parents had lifted me home. But before that, I was online at Dede's room using Dede's computer. And then, I had a small, yet weird and awkward chat with my ex. FINE. I know it's almost been a year since we've been together but I still can't get over it, satisfied to know the truth? It's the first time for me to confess something embarrassing like this in here. IT'S STUPID. Don't blame me. Blame my stupid heart for loving someone i doubt had ever loved me. I don't wanna think over this again. I don't even know what i'm feeling. I love him. I love him not. I love him I love him not. WHATEVER. The reply has always been still, unchangeable. HE LOVES ME NOT.
I guess i've ended the post well-matched-ly with it's title. I agree the statement Love is a sweet torment. But now, love is just execrable.
What's he thinking? Do i really wanna know? Sometimes, truth builds disappointmentsigh.


Arabella & Sick Brother

Monday, July 14.

1# Destination: Arabella. (A small neighborhood where only rich people can afford a huge house)

Gue kesana bareng keluarga Dede. Adek gue ikut, huf. Sebenarnya ini bukan pertama kalinya kita ke Arabella. Hanya saja disana enak banget. Kebetulan nyokap Dede punya temen gitu yang tinggal disana. Jadi kita bisa kerumahnya. Terus, ada kolam renangnya di taman. Jadi kita disuruh bawa baju renang. Gak bawa jga gak apa-apa. Bernang pake kaos boleh. Katanya suami yang punya rumah itu lagi kerja luar negeri. Jadi kita bebas dirumahnya, terserah mau ngapain.
Gue sama Dede pas pertama ngeliat kolam renangnya langsung :
Kita langsung ke ruangan ganti baju n si dede langsung nyebur di kolam
Kolam renangnya gak dalem sih, tapi enak. Hahah. Terus kita ajak si Nabyla (keponakan Dede yg masi kecil) sm Angel (anak ibu yang punya rumah, masi kecil juga) bernang. Si Nabyla digendong Dede, Nabyla sih bernangnya diem aja. Santai. Rileks. Asal dipegang Dede terus. Klo si Angel? Kan gue yang gendong. Dia geraknya banyak banget! Aktif. Kaki digoyang-goyang terus. Mau digendong tapi kesannya dia gak nyaman. Angel bokapnya orang Amrik, tapi nyokapnya, alias yang punya rumah, orang Indo. Jadi muka Angel cantik gitu. Ada bule-bulenya. Terus tembem banget. Ntar gue kasi liat fotonya deh. Cuma dia jarang ketawa. Senyum paling mending deh. Tapi dia ketawa, cemberut, senyum, marah apa aja cantik menawan indah anggun *lebay.

Abis kita bernang-bernang ria, gue moto-moto sepuasnya. Gue udah bawa semua alat-alat kamera gue. Tripod, lensa-lensa, charger, remot kamera, dll. Apa aja depan gue, gue foto dah. Tapi objek favorit gue adalah Nabyla dan Angel. Hehehhe. Mereka tuh lucu banget. Meski mereka gak ngobrol atau main sama-sama. Tapi muka mereka lucu n cocok banget jadi pemodel buat kategori Infants & Children.
Kita pergi dari Arabella jam 6 sore. Gue kerumah Dede karena sorenya ada latian basket. Jadi langsung bareng Dede aja. Lagian lapangannya ada dekat rumah dia.

2# Destination: Dede's house.

Dirumah Dede, gue langsung ganti baju. Gue udah bawa baju juga. Tapi alangkah repotnya bawa ransel gede kesana-sini. Untung ransel gue ber-style Kipling. 102
Gue ninggalin adek gue dirumah Dede, biar dia main sama Nabyla. Soalnya kalo dia ikut latian basket pasti nakal deh. Males gue sigh

3# Destination: Basketball Court.

Nyampe di lapangan basket. Loh? Kok gak ada orang? Gedek banget deh. Yang ada cuma si Mamad. Terus setelah 5 menit si Reni dateng. Terus yang lain? sejam lebih baru dateng!! GONDOKwtf
Si Hendra ditelpon-telpon 20-an kali gak diangkat! Beni gak jadi dateng. Aduh asli gue benci banget kalo pada geje gini. Jadi yang dateng tuh cuma Syam, Fahmi, Ochan, Edo, Azza, Sadam, dan... ADEK GUE?! Gue lagi ngeshoot and seperti biasa, gue selalu melirik ke gerbang masuk, ngeliat ada yang datang apa kagak. Eh, gue liat si Azza datang, lalu si Fahmi, lalu adek gue.. terus gue pikir..... ADEK GUEE?!!!!!!!!!!!!! UUGGGH. Ternyata si Azza mampir kerumah Dede sebentar, bwat ngambil apa gitu, eh adek gue minta ikut soalnya bosan main sama Nabyla. Terus si Azza malah mikir, "Ah gpp, cuma adeknya Karina, gak bakal ngapa-ngapain kok." Rupanya Azza salah besar.
Ketika adek gue baru aja masuk lapangan. Dia dengan sok-soknya minta bola, dan dengan sok-soknya ngedribble dengan kacau, dan dengan sok-soknya ngeshoot tanpa bola masuk!!
Terus pas main lawan-lawanan. Dia foul mulu! Dorong gue kek, narik gue kek, MUKUL juga sering. Terkutuklah kau, anak kecil!! marah1
Gue bersumpah demi Tuhan, gak akan bawa adek gue ke latian basket lagi. Siapapun yang ngajak dia, akan gue potong lehernya!catwoman

Selanjutnya, Dede nginep dirumah. Yay! Soalnya sekalian besok les gitar bareng, n kebetulan kita les gitarnya itu deket rumah dia. Lumayan, rumah dia kan jauh banget. Jadi kalo kita bareng-bareng ke les gitar, dia bisa dengan mudah pulang kerumahnya, n gue bisa pulang kerumah bareng Linda. Gpp deh asal ada yang nemenin. Tapi ternyata pas besok, les gitar gak jadi :( Coz gurunya baru pulang dari luar kota, pasti kecapean, apalagi kita ini ribut-ribut. Mana bisa dia mengontrol situasi nanti? Ndak papa, masi ada hari lain. apabolehbuat


Week Updates

Update #1:
I could play guitars now! I mean, yeah I began to play it since like before last year. But now, I could play it properly, you know? :D
I used to practice on playing Guns n' Roses' melody intro, on "Sweet Child O' Mine", I admit it's really hard. My fingers are still stuffy and awkward. It's like practicing on Beethoven's Fur Elise, no slight difference.
I'm playing rythm, baby! It's NOT easy! Well, at least for me & my friends. My fingers are dead sore from trying to play good. IT'S BURNING!! +_+
Moreover, they (my friends) want ME (me, as myself!), i mean, ME!! (also, as myself), to be a vocalist, yes, i mean, a vocalist!! (why can't we put Underline in blogger? I desperately wanna use it here!!) Do you know what a vocalist does? Well, i'll tell you, buddy! Simply, She/He sings!!! (I'm not concluded in "She" or "He" category), I mean, SINGS!! (I know!). I mean, (too much "I means" +_+), I'm the least person on earth who produces a grrreat voice! I bet if there's an American-Idol-For-The-Worst-Singers-Only, I'll win for sure, people! And what's worse, no, WORST. I agreed with them being the worst vocalist in the twenty first century. (My name's gonna be written on history books in the next century)
Ok, for only one lame reason, "I couldn't disappoint them". GEESH, what a lame excuse. But they were really really excited about creating this musical group. We're just short of a drummer. Any volunteers? +_+

Update #2:
Basketball practice isn't that bad anymore :D I'm having fun with my teammates. I dont count how many balls i've goaled. Don't care if my team either lost or won, i'd still love playing ball no matter what! Even you (whoever you are) wont change me. *devilish laugh*

Update #3:
I have bestfriends. No. I mean, (ugh, more "I means"), real bestfriends. I just knew now. They care about me. It's so touching. Hiks.. (began crying). They proved they cared. And everything I say to them, they listen and keep it. Some could listen and just spread it, to show people they're popular with fresh news. I'm sick of those animals, hargh.
Anyway, I love my bffs as they are. Maybe one of them's being a bitch who likes to talk to boys or maybe one likes to show off their things, or maybe one says she hates this bitch but she behaves just like the person she hates, or whatsoever bad deeds, BUT THEY CARE. I know i'm being dramatic, talking cliches, but its what i feel for the first time in here. All this time i just thought of the bad things they do and how I hate it. But now I realize there's more, more great things.

Update #4:
I still can't get Nate out of my mind. Although he acts weird now. I just have had a chat with her and she appeared to be upset or whatever. All my life I just don't know what's in her mind or what she feels. Misterious +_+
I don't even know why I named her Nate in here. I like the name Nathaniel. I'm gonna find out what it means.

Update #5:
Guess what time did I sleep before before yesterday?
7 AM in the morning!!!
And guess what time did I sleep before yesterday?
7 AM again!!
And guess what time did I sleep yesterday?
9 AM!! New record! +_+
I'm still finding a hard time sleeping at night. It's been a month or so. It keeps going and going and going. Don't know what's the problem. UGHH.


Brain Storm

3:16 AM
It's obvious, people! I CAN'T SLEEP! I'm frustrated! Ok, I admit that I didn't try to sleep. I lied down. Then, I closed my eyes.. and thought of silly things. Before I did that attemption-to-sleep, I was reading this novel called Life of Pi. I read it once, but you know me, I usually forget things i've read, especially when it's been ages. I know the story, but forgot the story. Get it? Guess not, it's only for the insane people like me.

4:16 AM
I just heard Azan Subuh. Before this, I was searching at DA for face stock for a new project. I wanted to create something Surreal coz surreal pics are AHMAHZINGH (I know!). Ok sorry I'm being cheesy. So, I found this face stock, it's beautiful but she's really really, i mean, really thin! And she looks desperate! D'ooh. Anyway, I gave it a shot. The idea of this project is to create a face that has two sides. One looks like in winter, and the other in summer. So in order to achieve that, I've got to make this side looks reeeeeaaalllyyyy cold and the other looks reaaaallyyyyyy colorful. So that this side contrasts this side. The winter is easy to make, so you know, I watched a video tutorial yesterday afternoon to make an atmosphere looks frosty winter. But summer? Oh I have no idea.
Anyway, it didn't go well. I wasn't satisfied with the result. Although, the winter side was quite cool, cool as cold. Hahahaha.


A Disastrous Lyric

Owkay, this shit is just a.. shit?
So mock as you like.
It's not based on anything real, though :P

If I could come back to you

You're the one that I wanna be with
My mind's constantly troubled
With your haunted face
But you never seem to care
Finding someone like you is rare

Why is it so hard?
Letting you go...

If you could be mine again
I'll never stop saying i love you
So you wouldn't go away
If I could be yours again
I'll take care of you
Day after day
If you could hold me with your warm hands again
I won't resist anymore
Unlike before
If I could come back to you again
I won't let you down
I won't blow it this time

You're my precious
I wanna stick with you forever
You're my perfection
Baby, we belong together
But you're miles away now
How can I reach you? How?

If I could run to the past
I'll stop at those days with you
I know we had complications
But baby, we made it through
So why can't I be your last?


HANCOCK (Movie Review)

Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman
Director: Peter Berg

God, this movie is sooo cool! Ceritanya tentang seorang pahlawan keren (menurut gue) bernama Hancock (
Will Smith) yang selalu nangkap teroris-teroris yang sedang beraksi. His problem is that he's hated by people. Karena setiap dia mau nyelamatin orang, selalu ada gedung-gedung kehancur, jalan-jalan kerusak, dll, gara-gara his super powers. He is a superhero, but a clumsy one. Meskipun dia selalu menyelamatkan rakyat, namun rakyat membencinya karena kekasarannya dalam hal nyelamatin orang. He's not like superman who flies in the sky carefully not breaking any buildings, and lands safely not watching any road to crumble. Semuanya akan berubah, setelah dia menyelamatkan nyawa seseorang bernama Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman), pengurus Public Relations yang sangat berterima kasih kepada Hancock karena berkatnya, Ray mampu pulang kerumah menemui istri dan anaknya kembali. Setelah Hancock bertemu dengan istrinya Ray, Mary (Charlize Therone), Hancock akan mengetahui semua masa lalunya yang ia tidak ketahui, begitu juga Ray.
Aduh pokoknya lo-lo nonton aja deh, filmnya seru kok. Tapi mungkin buat anak-anak susah dipahami, namun kekuatan-kekuatan heroicnya Hancock akan membuat mereka tercengang. Muahaha.
Enjoy, folks!


Bad Temper

don't wanna write about it.

Gak terlalu membosankan. Malah, gue hampir setiap hari keluar, itung-itung gak dirumah sesering mungkin.
Selalu ada latian basket, ato gak les gitar, ato gak jalan-jalan kemana aja asal nongkrong diluar.
Permainan basket gue udah lumayan nurun, gak tau kenapa gue lemah banget sekarang. (introducing--WORLD'S MOST WEAK PLAYMAKER)
Gak kayak permainan basket gue yang nurun, kayaknya enakan main gitar deh. Basket, seluruh badan pegel. Gitar... jari doang yang pegel. Lagian suara gitar enak banget. Thank you for k'Toni yang bersedia
ngajarin kita gitar dan nahan . Hihi.

Huff kesel nih dah disuruh tidur. Males dah gue. Ntr deh gua banyak cerita, tapi males ngetiknya. Muahhaha. Dah ah, takut nykp ngomel-ngomel lagi.

one more time,


Damn Exhausted

I can't... I can't keep my eyes open.. My fingers and feet are sore.. Man, i feel like a dead-alive person.. D'oh, that doesn't make any sense.
Gue abis les gitar diajarin k'Toni, brg dede, lynda, fadila. That explains why my fingers are red.
Aduh gue gak tahan pengen makan terus tidur. HUFF.
Besok aja ah gue ceritain. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

P.S: i miss the old that :(

Hideous Week

Sial, kok gue gak bisa tidur ya akhir-akhir ini? Hari ini apa lagi. Susah banget. Mau tidur cepet karena kecapean basket malah tidurnya jam 4 subuh, terus bangun jam berapa? Jam ENAM (6). Abis gara-gara "this" ngaku yg enggak-enggak!! Masa dia blg dia sayang ma gue? Apaan tuh? Tetap aja dia bilang sebagai temen tpi itu juga diblg setelah diam beberapa lama!!!!!! BEGOO!! Eniwei, pokoknya gue gmw jadian sama sapa-sapa lagi skrg. HUEE. So, i apologize to my dearest secret admirers! MUAHAHAH!! (pede). Karena, tujuan gue itu adalaaahh... Menyari belahan jiwa. hahahahaha tertawalah. Kok kedengerannya jijai gt ya pas bilangnya. Pokoknya gue gmw asal-asal pacaran lgi dah. Males punya banyak mantan. So, bye-bye secret admirers, again. Kiss bye dong. Buahhaa..
Doh gue depresi banget nih nyari sekolah SMA laen. Rencananya sih bentar siang gue mo ke future, mo daftar gitu biar cepet selesai. Aduh, males deh gue kalo ujian lagi. CAPEK. Masi kesel gua sama sekolah Manaret El-Eman. Sekolah sialan. Jadi bokap mau masukin gue di Future. Cowok sama cewek jg dipisah, pisah gedung malah, pisah JALAN malah. Hahaha. Iya, sekolahnya ada cabang bwt cowok, n cabang yang satunya bwt cewe. Bagusan deh. Tapi gimana ya, aduh gue males bgt. Tau ah.
Eh liat ini, kocak. buahahahaa.

This or that?
want you back
help me choose
one of them

this listens
that does not
this asks my condition
that never does
this tells me take care
that says go to hell
this praises me
that praises she


this never beats my heart fast
that always does that
this don't make me dream
that appears all the day
this puts me quick to sleep
that puts me at the day

this or that?
this or that?
help me choose
want you back