9.30.2008

UNCENSORED

You know, reading fictions irritate me.
The whole point, the plot, the character's various supernatural abilities, not to mention, the world that exists under human's unawareness. It's just too imaginative to an excruciating degree, full of fake illusions & fantasies.
What's more exasperating, when I've became so indulged in the story and couldn't stand but to love it and, -this is the worst frustrating part- comes the hopeless desire of having the tiniest part of this fiction, wondering what's it like if it was real? Being a silent witness of the fictitious incidents is enough. Dreaming of them isn't, though. Life is just utterly boring, moreover, it's commonly unfair as people say.
I haven't got the faintest idea why I'm blabbering about this whole crap of superstitions. Don't you, fiction readers, feel the same?
Back to earth, now. I'm finished losing my mind. Let's talk about real life.
Yesterday, I wouldn't consider it a day to be described as wonderful, or dreadful. It was sort of unbalanced. But it was more wonderful, as I seemed.
I had a flawless chat with Nate. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to say or think like this, but jeez I couldn't help but to bring it up, besides, my mind's already damaged, full of insanity.
The conversation wasn't unusual, well, he still teased and mocked me in any chance but not as frequently as always. Maybe he had some complications. He did tell me one of 'em, or two. I was glad to hear it all after what seemed ages we hadn't been in contact. I felt also relieved that he hadn't changed a bit and that he was talking smoothly, I could hardly remember the last talk when he wasn't being rude and rough as usual.
I forgot to mention, he asked me to phone him. Uhm, he said it more like he was pleading, or maybe I was just imagining things. It would be easier to tell if I saw his expression. Of course, if I was face to face with him I wouldn't need phone calls.
Enough about this alien, I feel like a spoiled teenager talking bout nonsense just to gossip around. I'm not even sure what this is called. I'm concerned about my mental issues because all of this certainly revolves around it.

9.27.2008

REPORT

Updates for the last two weeks.

I had stomachache for 3 days straight. Very torturing, but I managed to fight and live. At the first day of the pain, my whole family (including me, unfortunately) were supposed to go to a town called Portsaid. Despite my illness, they'd still go, refusing to leave me behind so I went with them unwillingly. As expected, in town, I stayed in the hotel for 2 days. My friends, who some were there too, persuaded me to hang out. But I was too busy facing sickness.
And when we got back home, my stomachache lessened but not completely. Well, eventually, I got my full health back thank God.

Back to school. Well, a new one, actually. In Cairo, Friday & Saturday are considered day-offs at works and school, officially and generally. Mainly Friday.
I went to school on Saturday to ask about book receiving. They said I'd get it on Monday, when the school starts. So, I came on Monday as supposed wearing the uniform, I started hyperventilating and took two deep breaths. I went to the gate, and the guard who stood there asked, "What year?"
"First secondary," I answered.
Then his reply was, "First secondary classes starts tomorrow."
I thought, WHAT.THE.FUCK?
So I had spent that day swearing.

Tomorrow came, and if I was to be tricked again, I'd leave this school. I hyperventilated again when I saw the gate and again, took deep breaths. Of course I didn't recognize any of them. But, as a start, I like the uniform, it's sort of like Japanese boys' uniform, you know, except an additional vest. That one bothers. Anyway, students always have to wear a full uniform without any exception under any circumstances.
Surprisingly, I met four people who were in the same former school. But I haven't been hanging out with them. People were so nice and friendly, but I still wasn't close to anyone. Moreover, the person who I was sharing the desk with was quiet. Ugh.

I'll go on later, I have duties. I'm human, anyway. Oh that reminds me, I finished the four twilight. And now I feel lonely.
So, I decided to read it all over again. lol.

9.13.2008

Blabber

The birthday went fun.
We were all there at Reni's house, gathering, joking, laughing, rolling, spreading waves of joy. But there were times when I feel tedious. Maybe because we did this all the time at each of our birthdays. But they're certainly anniversaries we should never miss. We never know when times like these could happen again, right?
I truly enjoyed myself. Especially that tasty birthday cake which Reni's big brother bought.
We also fulfilled our insane thoughts of Egg-Throw childlike event routine.



Ecce's got problems with her boyfriend who's currently in Indo. At the second time when she talked about him while she's still here, I sensed that he is a big jerk. He cheated behind her back and Ecce's still indecisive of breaking up with him. That abashed me considering the love that she stacks for her ex -who is now here- holds alot more than her crap boyfriend. She's being too kind, I don't get her.




You know, since the routine of reading Twilight, I'm beginning to be stupidly insane in a freaking way of believing in the existence of vampires. I perfectly know what negative thoughts and predictable teases or possibly, insults, you would throw to my face. Well, unless if you've seen any superstitions. I fantasies mostly because the novel I read, I want it badly to be real, as in, non fiction. The way Edward is overly protective over Bella, the way he appears as if he can read her mind when she's the only exception to his ability of reading minds, the way the novelist describe how he expresses his deep love by his touch, mostly, the way he solemnly love her the way she is.. all that must've made me dream of having someone like Edward. A gentle, romantic, and breaking gorgeous vampire. Such illusions.
Although, deep in my heart I always feel like love is only a fairytale, which exists only in fiction stories, romantic delusions and phony dramas which every writers, actresses and directors make it so real. Though, in real life it never lasts, nothing lasts.

Don't get me wrong, Twilight is amusing. Darn, it's dawn. Gotta go sleep. Chaw.

9.12.2008

Just Want

Just wanna type a random post coz i'm utterly bored. I'm supposed to be dressed now, Mamad's gonna pick me up in half an hour. Hey, remove that stupid thought of considering it as a date. It's NOTHING. We're gonna head toward Reni's house, remember?
I planned to go there with Fadyla and Lynda coz our houses are in the same region. But unfortunately, they have other plans and they will catch up later. Huff. I hate going anywhere alone unless I'm willing or urgent.
So, I called Mamad, coz he's not distant. And I told him to pick me up.
Darn, 15 minutes has passed. I'm too lazy to pick clothes. Actually, I thought of what I was going to wear tonight.
I'll wear casuals.

At this moment, I desire reading Twilight's Eclipse rather than going to a birthday. It's nothing personal. It's just me. How depressive.

Bye.

TADA

WoOoW! Yesterday I had the best night ever! Tomorrow will be better, hopefully. Okay I'll explain why I'm being so exultant.

"Twilight Series"
First, I got the four Twilight Series book. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn (which, I expect, will be Breaking-Awesome). I thought Twilight had 5 series coz at time when I was asking for the book in a random bookstore, the bookseller said, "Twilight will be sold along with it's five series." At first I had on my mind that Twilight is a no-series book. It pretty surprised me, yet, excited me, when I heard that.
Anyway, everytime I went to the bookstore for purchasing Twilight, I realized I was always too late. Twilight was always sold out till I had memorized the look of pity of the bookseller's face seeing my disappointment. Fine. I gave up the thought of buying it at bookstores, furthermore, i'm broke and the guess of how a most well known yet, a best sold book could cost was unaffordable. That's if I counted my savings. My parents wouldn't bother giving me more than fifty pounds. It's just a book, yet, it's not just a book.
I finally searched for Twilight in the internet thinking, if I couldn't buyout the book, maybe short stories would do. Maybe it would decrease my blasting wave of curiosity. So I googled Twilight. And there it was... A miracle.

I found a free Twilight series e-book. Free downloadable PDF file. I got so ecstatic that I wanted to scream out of ecstasy. I don't mind reading for hours in front of an electronic monitor which, I perfectly know, will cause me blinder. I never mind e-books. To obtain what i most wish in a hopeless situation can hardly make me think of anything that could bug me. I don't even mind the missing 'enters', quotations and marks on the file, though it was, I admit, hard to be read without. But I managed, anyway. I've just finished New Moon. I'll start reading Eclipse tomorrow if by any chance i will.

Okay, that was long. I'm not finished yet. Keep reading coz the next part is exhilarating and almost brought me tears of joy no matter how many zillions i recall it. It was such a moment.

"Complete Five"
Today, as in, this afternoon, me and my friends are going to celebrate Reni's birthday. Another common surprise party, as usual. So we went out last night. Me, Dede, Lynda, Ecce, Ochan (I didn't know where he came from), and someone else (this one's a surprise). It came off like this, since my parents, Ecce's parents and Dede's parents were invited to a same "Fast-Break" party, considering Ramadhan gatherings. We gathered ourselves there. And we took off together to meet Lynda. Dede and Lynda had to pray Taraweh at a mosque near the department store where we planned to buy the birthday present. So, Ecce and me raced off to the mall to save time.
We entered McDonalds to buy some drinks coz we were hell thirsty. And then we sought for a suitable bag that matches Reni's taste. None of us were close to her. So we picked a random cute bag with lovely theme that she would like undoubtedly.
Suddenly Ecce's phone was ringing, Lynda called to inform us that they had finished praying and they were in McDonalds now, so we should run off and gather them.
When we just stepped in to McDonalds, I scanned till I noticed their table. I saw Ochan was with them and felt gratitude that Azza weren't here. I said hi to them and then suddenly someone was covering my eyes with it's hand from behind my back. I was instantly in aghast that it took me a moment to realize that the person who blinded me intended to make a sort of a surprise guess. Then, I smiled. I kept touching the fingers cautiously, "Big fingers," I said, out loud. I heard the others laughed at my comment. I smelled it carefully, the scent reminded me of Fadyla, my best friend who had been in New York for vacation for nearly three months now, but I heard she'll be back the day after tomorrow. So there's no way this mysterious person who was blocking my sight was Fadyla. I kept shouting with hopeless voice, "Whose hands are these?", I tried removing them but they were too strong, but I can feel that it's a girl. Finally, she gave her hands away and waited for me to turn around, to relief my curiosity.
I couldn't believe at first who it had turned to be.
It was certainly Fadyla.
I was shocked for a moment, believing maybe I was dreaming. I've been missing her so much that this sudden reunion feels like a fantasy. I hugged her tight, immediately. I almost cried but I held my tears of joy thinking that would be dramatic and fully exaggerating.
The night went pleasant and amusing as I thought it will turn out to be, having the five of us, completed. We took pictures from the camera that Fadyla had bought from New York and Ochan was our most patient photo taker. He never looked bothered taking photos and never be part of it. Maybe because he was the only male. Probably.

"Changes"
I miss blogskins. Screw onion head.

That's it. I'm done. Weary. See ya.