10.30.2008

Oh WOW, people! It's been ages, hasn't it?
But honestly, I don't feel like typing right now. No reason. Right now, I feel content. I don't have anything to bother, even my physics exam, which will come tomorrow. I studied well, anyway, considering only chapter one and two that's entering.
This week had been so hectic and depressing, though there were some hilarious exceptions. My brain was divided into two parts, one was about people, the other was about maths, physics, Deustch, Arabic, etc. For ten whole days, there was nothing at school but EXAMS.

Deustch Exam: First time I received the paper, I scanned all of the words, searching for anything I don't understand, found nothing. It went really smooth, until the teacher said, "Those who've finished the first paper, hand it over, because you will receive the Deustch A.L (Advance Level) paper." PANIC. Panic ran rapidly over me. There's another?! I just thought I got over the worst. But I managed, anyway. I just left three sentences that I couldn't figure out in some dialog. Oh what the heck.

Philosophy Exam: I know! Isn't that beyond normal? A philosophy subject? UGH. But it's not as hard as you think, really. Although it's boring, but it's just plain easy. I got a full mark at this one. All I can say, I don't ever wanna be a philosopher.

Maths Exam: Gosh. This one's the easiest exam of the week. Simple and plain! I don't know why my classmates cried over it. I mean, it didn't even look like an exam. I won't let my hope get high, I might have done a mistake, and i'll be way down.

English A.L (Advanced Level) & O.L (Ordinary Level) Exams: Ah. This one might have taken years to be finished answering. It was very very long. Pain in the ass. But we've all passed. It was easy too. It just took time, like 3 hours.

Arabic Exam: The most frustrating. I think my worst mark is Arabic's. I could give you thousands of reason. But I'll short it out; Arabic is just NOT my type. If I could give away any subject in this world (except history), Arabic is my definite choice. I will NEVER hesitate.

What else? I forgot. Oh yeah..

Geography Exam: I didn't expect this to be a piece of cake. It's just the most lead piped geography exam I've ever seen. Though, I think I made three mistakes. But still. It's miraculous.

Physics Exam: Coming soon. LOL.

Let's change topics now. Guess what? There're two males in my head. And I'm stuck between them. I'm stuck between my feelings. I don't know if I'm falling in love or not. I just know that "falling-in-love" is something real, something serious. I don't get it coz I'm still a child. Marriage is at the end of my agenda. Gee, I went far.
Anyway, no matter what, I don't ever wanna lose any of them. I know they love me. The first one loves me as a sister. I think. Not more. But at least he loves me, right?
The other loves me like more than a friend. He claimed that. But I don't trust people easily. If he really does, he will prove it somehow, whatever it takes.

Change topics.

Last weekend. Me and my friends went out as usual. Instead of practicing basketball, we went to Costa Coffee. You know, just chilling out. And then there was something weird. One of my friends didn't feel like talking to us, and we don't know the actual reason. We assumed that maybe she was really not in the mood. But my other friend got annoyed and said, "if she wasn't in the mood, why'd she bother to come, then?" And since then, none of us talked to her. Now I feel bad and embarrassed coz it has been awhile since I've talked to her and worst of all, she's my best friend. UGH. Whatever.

Change topics.

I've lost my number. I think it fell accidentally in the taxi while I was getting back home from Costa with the others.

Okay, enough. I'm tired. Zzzzzzzzzzz. See you, people. Have a nice life.
Keep your loved ones close.

10.18.2008

BURDENED

I feel so bad. I'll mention about it later. Maybe.

Yesterday
Was a long day. I went to Fadyla's coz we had a Maths lesson together. And then we ran to Citystars Mall, Fadyla wanted to ask the Virgin store's Apple corridor staff on how to sync videos to her iPod. She's new to all this stuff about iPod and my knowledge was only limited to 2 GB iPods.
Anyway, the salesman gave her directions and websites. After we've finished we sat at Costa Coffee. I don't know why, but every weekend I must find my self spending money at this cafe, ordering the same order: Coffee Frescato with chocolate and Brownies topped with one vanilla ice-cream ball.
It's just mouthwatering and it excites me whenever my order came. Also, at Costa Coffee, I needn't to concern about the total amount. It's far cheaper than Starbucks. But, of course, Starbucks' drinks are invincible!
Fadyla wanted to order salad, but none of them she liked. So picky. Haha. Anyway, she switched her laptop on, it was weird, you know, sitting and having a laptop on our table in a public place, and what's more weird, no one, as I recall, carried laptops. I mean, don't you think we, the young ones, were too young to carry this really specially expensive electronic device? I mean, we both don't even have a job. Our jobs are students. Who has bloody monthly exams coming this week, and haven't even studied a word. Yet, here we were, acting as frivolous as ever, fooling our heads and people, sitting with a laptop at Costa Coffee. Oh, the irony.
What's more stupid, we couldn't find a wireless network, it's all secured. Ugh. That maybe what we deserved by showing off to people. Well, I wasn't exactly the one who did. I just was a part of it.
Anyway, we just sat and talked and looked at pictures for half an hour, then we went off. Fadyla had other plans, she had to run off to her schoolmate's house to have an Arabic lesson. She completely didn't understand the subject. I had plans with Dede and the rest, we didn't point out where to go exactly, the matter was just to get together. I went home first, coz Dede was gonna come. Then, we both went to Genena Mall. (I think I went to three different malls that night without stopping to buy anything, just walking and junketeering, most tiring). We just stopped by every gift shop to see cute things, but every time we glanced at the price tag, we both deliberately thought that it didn't look that cute. Till we reached this clothes shop, there was this stunning tops that Dede wanted to try, so she ran to the fitting room. Then she called me to see her in it, the first time I looked, I laughed instantly, I'm giggling incoherently as I'm typing this now, remembering how she looked. Hahaha. She laughed too, anyway. And suddenly I saw Ochan in the wall mirror. He laughed too at the first sight. Gosh he just appeared like that, like a ghost. Dede laughed and was a bit embarassed that she quickly pushed me out and pulled the curtains to change.
After that we went to the top floor, the games floor. At first we intended to play table tennis, so I could practice, you see. But they said they lost the ball. So we played arcade games. Some punching game, basketball shooting and some sort of like hockey table. It was fun, we laughed quite a lot.
Just when we were heading to the mall gate, we caught Lynda, she was just entering the mall, so we called her and she headed to us and the four of us went to the gate. And just when we were on the stairs, we met K'Edo! Wow, the coincidence. He was just going in to the Mall's pharmacy to buy a hair straightener medicine and he told us to wait for him coz he was gonna come along. It only took 5 minutes or so till he came into view again. And so the five of us headed to Sarrag Mall. Coz there was just no table tennis ball in here.
By the time we've reached, we went upstairs to the table tennis section. They were all full and we had to wait half an hour to get a table. So we reserved one and instead of waiting there helplessly for half an hour, we explored the mall. We were in a clothes shop wondering aimlessly when Sadam suddenly appeared in the store's front glass. Oh it turned out that K'Ochan told Sadam where he was on the phone, and Sadam decided to come. It was nothing bizarre. The boys were like partners in crime, anyway. I won't be shocked if I received news that they're getting married, or K'Ochan cheated on Sadam and ran off with K'Icca.
So, anyway, after that, we went to the table tennis room again coz half an hour has passed swiftly. I played non-stop. I was really concentrating and I was trying really hard not to hit the ball strongly, or hit the ball twice, or even miss the ball. I was sweating and tired and kept asking questions about rules and scoring to Sadam, coz he knew a lot about it. Or maybe the all knew. I was the only old fashioned here, maybe that's why K'Icca challenged me in this. UGH. The bastard.
It wasn't an hour yet, but mom & dad were already waiting for me to pick me up in front of the mall. It was already late. I think it was eleven something, approaching midnight. But that wasn't considered the-most-late-hang-out record. I mean, we once hung out till sunrise on the street walking aimlessly.
Anyway, that's all about yesterday.
Except, one thing I haven't mentioned. I did the bloody bet.
It was so difficult. I didn't know how to put the words perfectly. So I decided to say what I really feel, what I wanted to say if it weren't necessary. Done.
I feel so guilty. It's like I've done a big sin, and I'll never be forgiven. *big sigh*

By the way, Dad's gonna go to Indonesia tomorrow. I want so many things from Indonesia, but he's going there to work. Despite him saying "write a list of everything you want", I still feel uneasy. I know he's just my dad, but you see, I've never been really close to him. Em, if you've read Twilight, me and my dad are like Charlie and Bella. Except that Renee is with us.

Okay, done here, gotta go study.

10.16.2008

DROWSY

I'm so dead bored and sleepy.
Thursdays had always been my favorite day of the week. But today was an exception. Oh well, nearly an exception.
As I said in one of my previous posts, we leave class early every Thursday. So today school passed swiftly.
And then, I wasn't going home directly. I decided to drop by KKS. I intended to get my friend's novel book which I'd borrowed and which I'd let someone who lives in KKS borrowed (I bet you're confused already. Haha), I'm not sure if you could call that a sentence, though. LOL.
So, KKS is a bit far from school. I had to take two buses. Or at least a bus and a mini one. At first, there wasn't any part of me that felt scared or nervous. I might get lost or be kidnapped. Mind you, KKS is located in a neighborhood famously called "The Tenth Neighborhood". Don't ask me why. Anyway, currently, there're many burglars, thieves, muggers and kidnappers wander around in the Tenth Neighborhood. Also, they're black bad guys. I don't support racism. They just happen to be black people, apparently from Somalia. They usually attack and spread at night. This is one of the most essential thing to concern if you pass by this scary area. Never walk alone in an empty street.
I wasn't concerned about the Black Somalian gangsters. It was still noon.
I arrived at KKS, no one I knew were there. So I waited for anyone who I recognized. And when I've realized I had waited so long, I lost my patience, I decided to call. The person that I wanted to take the book from was out, but he was heading here now and was already close. So I waited again. After what seemed like forever, he finally appeared and immediately ran off to his room to get the goddamn book. Just when he handed it to me, I said, "Thanks. I'll go home now."
Yeah I was making it obvious that I was in a hurry. Which, I wasn't.
He replied, "Aren't you gonna play tennis table first before you go?"
I forgot to inform you about this dopey crap.
K'Icca & I decided to do this silly tiny competition. Tennis Table. Which was supposed to be done today. But he happened to be sick because he shaved his head (I know, this isn't making any sense. Don't blame me.) The winner gets anything that he wants from the loser. Any amends. Anything.
The whole KKS probably knew about this. Coz K'Icca is quite close with most of them. KKS got a tennis table. Just perfect for practice.
I changed my mind about going home.
"Of course! Omg, I totally forgot about it!" I exclaimed. So I practiced one hour. Coz I got tired immediately tryin to hit the tiny ball with the goddamn tiny racket. Or whatever it's called. I tell you, it wasn't a success. I was clearly positive that K'Icca would beat me in this rattlebrained thing. My mind was already full of defeat.
Anyway, after I've finished "practicing", I went to take a mini bus. My money was getting shorter. I was afraid I was out of money. How the hell am I gonna get home without cash?
I took another bus and reached home, safe and sound, with completely empty pockets. Relief crept over my body.
No one was home. Lonely, I'm Mrs. Lonely. (Sigh)
I assumed me and my friends would go out tonight. Just gathering and chilling out. But each of them had plans or weren't allowed to get out of their house. Crap. I'm lonelier than ever. Bored as hell. Thank God, laptop and a free wireless saved my soul from dying. I had a frivolous chat with Najip. We talked about mature things like marriage, where'd you wanna spend your honeymoon, s*x, clubbings, etc. I rarely, like, occasionally talk about these things, especially with boys. As far as my human brain could remember, the last time I discussed about these was with Wildan. My best friend who currently lives in Indonesia. He knows every secret, no matter how personal it is, in me. Najip is not so distinct. Except the way he talks, almost like a retired chemistry professor. But he's interesting.
Enough, I'm very very sleepy now. I doubt that I could hold myself for the next six seconds.
ZZZ.
Auf wiedersehen!

10.15.2008

LAYOVER

I've got fifteen minutes time to let you be updated on my tedious life.
I got really close to the chick who sits next to me at class. I've been to her house. I've seen her mom, her sister, her neighbor(s) and her boyfriend. Whom she's going to ditch.
Now that I realize, transferring to a new school seemed harder than I imagined. I thought that it was only about the people and the subjects. UGH. People are so damn nice, even those who aren't in the same classes with me. It's like meeting a bunch of relatives.
The lessons were fine. They just need to be memorized and studied in constant period.
The whole dilemma is, you see, I don't feel intimate or any sense of belonging at school even though they treat me well. I miss my old school. I miss it more that I thought I will. I miss my former classmates, whom I hadn't really been close to any. It's like moving to another planet. Meeting different kind of aliens. Oh I know, I know, it's just a matter of time. What a bunch of crap they say.

I read a book called The Confessions of a Shopaholic, which, according to what I've acknowledged, they're now making a movie of it, I think it's made though, just waiting to be released. It's a great book, it introduced me to a lot of famous brands of clothes.

"Cause I'm lonely, and I'm tired.. I'm missing you again..."

10.10.2008

ONE OF THE BEST

Tada.
So, people, how do you like my new skin?
Gray colors give me high sensations! Not to mention the small picture of the cake right up there.
Haha.

Okay, bout today. Nothing was really special. But it was sorta one of my favorites.
I'll tell you why.
First, school was nice. The girl who sat next to me talked over and over bout her boyfriend.
Everyday classes end at 3. Except Thursday, which was today, classes end at 1:3o. Now that's fwuantuastic.
And then it took me only a bus to get home. Usually i rode twice. Which was tiring.
But there was just one flaw in this favorable day.
No one was at home, and I didn't have my house keys. DARN.
So I went down to phone mom, whose phone was turned off as I seemed. Called dad and told him I'm gonna go to Lynda's house. Then I called Lynda, to see if she was home or not.
When I just got there, seemed that she had just woken up. Anyway, she talked to me about things. Everytime she tells me about her private life, I feel like she's the closest person on earth to me. I could barely keep a secret from her.
She finished talking and was busy with her cell. She laid her chest against the quilt and I laid my head on her back. Then I fell asleep. And woke up at seven in the evening. I found no sign of Lynda, her sister said that she had a private lesson outdoor. I decided to call my parents, see if they were already home or not. Turned out that mom was shopping with her boss and Dad would pick me up in minutes, he was on his way now.
Lynda, Fadila and I were planning to hang out that night. So when I got home. I quickly changed for a shower. Dad was gonna go out to meet some friends of his, so he suggested to give me a ride. Thank God. My mind had still got no courage to ride a random taxi at night alone.
Lynda sent me a text message that she was at McDonald. Dad was gonna go there too, my lil brother wants to hold his birthday party there. According to Lynda's text message, she was in the second floor. So I went up. And I saw that Lynda wasn't alone. There was K'Ochan and K'Icca there too. Thank God -again- that dad didn't have to go upstairs to arrange his son's tenth birthday party. Otherwise he'd bring me back home or make me go with him to meet his boring friends with all his phony friendliness. He hated his daughter the idea of hanging out with boys. Oh you know how their age was like. When he was a teenager he wasn't allowed to date girls, or likely interested. It was considered as a sin. But now, we say we're humans. No human is without a sin. The slight difference is that we just make more amount of sins than they did.
Back to the topic, spending time with the Siam Twins (Who're K'Ochan & K'Icca) means to be as immature as you like, but in a fun way. Know that quote that says, "I'm not immature, I just know how to have fun"? Yeah, something similar like that. My point is that you'll always laugh whenever you're with them. They tell funny things and they're humorous at an excruciating degree. I wish they'd make a comedy show. K'Ochan likes to record things with his all-time cam. (Visit his blog, click here to see it. It's totally worth it. Haha, K'Ochan, Karina promosi nih. Huehheuhe :P). K'Icca generally, loves guitar and head over heels a fan of Kurt Cobain's Nirvana. He said Nirvana was the band which inspired him playing guitar.
Anyway, they made my night. Fadila eventually came too and we took some pictures that I'll put it later when I'd got them.

The bet? It's still undone. Last night I was online in Lynda's cellphone to observe if he was online or not so I could get this over swiftly. It's so bugging me. The only thing that I'm afraid of is, do you think he'd be cross? Anyone doesn't like to be manipulated. Oh I swear I'll finish this.

10.04.2008

AMBIGUOUS

Updates?
Grr. Nowadays I don't feel like posting. I'm bored. My life is too boring to be written here.

School
School days are fine.
I'm beginning to feel settled, maybe because of one thing. I met someone who was in the same class with me in Junior High. I just saw her today at the stairs while we were on a school break. Although I didn't really like her, but she seemed friendly, maybe because she's new. Oh you get my point.
The girl who sat next to me started talking. She wasn't as silent as before, she started joking and muttering eventually. And she was still helpful.
My school food court has got a MENU. Unbelievable. They've got slices of pizza, sandwiches, cookies, and more cookies! But none of them were given to us for free.
Deustch, seems more difficult than I thought. Look at what I learned to write in Deustch:
Ich heißt Karina, ich bin fünf zehn jahre alt. Ich habe ein bruder, er ist Ahmad, er ist neun. In der freizeit, gitarre spielen.

LOL. So that means, my name is Karina, I'm fifteen years old. I have a (dork) brother, his name is Ahmad, he's nine. In free time, I play guitars.
If you know how to speak Deustch and found mistakes on what I've written, please report. You see, I'm an amateur in Deustch :P

Psychic
My soul is half wary.
First of all, my two best best friends went back to Indonesia just today. And I couldn't go to the airport to wave them both goodbye 'cause I had school. Crap. I feel lonely now.
What's more, I'm sleepless, I couldn't sleep. It takes me an hour or more to get to sleep even if i'm sleepy.
What's worse, me and Linda made this stupid bet. I forgot whose idea was it. Anyway, Ecce has an ex in Cairo, they look like they still had something, you know. Well, i was exactly positive that her ex would take her to the airport, but Linda thought the exact opposite. So that was the bet. If I was to win, Linda would confess love to her admirer whom she felt disgusted with. If I was to lose, I would confess love to my ex, whom I'm not sure if I was in love with or not. It all revolves around him, he's so cryptic.
Anyway, Ecce's ex nose (not to mention the rest) didn't appear at the airport. I just knew that he flew to Hongkong 'cause his granny is medicating there. So, now I'm doomed. DOOMED. I shall confess A.S.A.P to get this over with!

I miss my band rehearsals.

10.01.2008

TIRESOME

I haven't been me today. No, I don't mean being a hypocrite.
To begin with, I wrote posts in one day. Something I'd never intended to do.
I called the person who I literally have no idea how I feel about him, even though I never had the courage to do so, it was an instant desire of my instinct.
I bought expensive shoes, which costs more than double of my monthly salary and turned my thick wallet into pennies. It was worth it. That's what makes it bizarre; no regrets.
I hadn't thought of any Twilight characters -Edward Cullen was included, astonishingly- in the entire 24 hours. Well, now that I've mentioned it deliberately, my thoughts are back with the Cullens. I'm thinking of Renesmee now. LOL.
And several things that I needn't have to claim. Such an exhausting day, yet it was one of the best days of my life. Well, yeah, maybe it's uncountable, but if I tried hard to recall, it would do a flashback in my mind.

After I wrote my post about calling "The Guy", dad ordered me to dress up for a visit to the Ambassador's house, which is in KBRI (Kedutaan Bangsa Republik Indonesia). It was an open invitation, anyone could come, casual clothing. So my friends and I decided to meet there. And, since the Embassy lies beside the Nile River, we determined to have a walk there because the party was just dull and dry as dust. We also took billions of photos. Haha, exaggerating, but it seemed so.
When we saw a yacht rent store, we couldn't help but to rent one. The beauty and the elegance of the Nile River at night seduced us. The glittering lights of the buildings ahead. The motion of the graceful cruisers on the river. The rhythm of the wind blowing the trees on the side of the river.
Okay, enough scene description, I suck at doing it.
Anyway, we rented a yacht for an hour, and took pictures again on it with all of our most possible formed poses.
And then, we went to Pizza Hut to get a tasty delicious slices of pizza to stuff our empty stomach. Ecce's treat. Hahaha. I'm so thankful.
And that's that, we got back home after that. No more journeys,, we already fell asleep on the way back in the back seat of the public transportation we rode.

Here was what had surprised me the most.
There's this boy called.. Ok no real exposed names. Let's just call him Tom.
Tom is the head of ambassador's son. He was younger than me by a year or two. I've known him long enough, but I wasn't so close to him. So everytime we meet, we just smile at each other in a friendly way. Usually, he jokes about Chinese people's accents when they speak English. All in all, he's a kind friend who always displays a debonair grin whenever we have to face each other.
I saw his figure when I was searching for a friend, and there his smile on, automatically without any sign of deliberation. I smiled back, of course, knowing it was our little ritual. And then he was walking to me, and started talking about funny stuff that was supposed to make me laugh, well, I did laugh, though. And then we had to disjoint realizing we each had some plans to do.
The party went on and on, and it soon was close to an end. My friends and I were preparing to go to the Nile just according to what we've planned already.
And when I was just heading out, Tom stopped me and said,
"Hey Karina, I was just.. I was just wandering what you're.. what you're going to do tonight.. you see.. me and my big brother..we're going to Citystars-" the mall which is in my neighborhood,"-tonigh to buy a new white tie for me.. you know.. for my performance in October..and my brother really wants to see what Citystars look like."
He ended talking. It took me awhile to realize that he was asking me to go with him. How stupid.
"Oh!" seeming to remember something that came up, "I'm sorry, I think I'm going out with them-" pointing to my friends' group ahead, "-I'm really sorry, Tom."
Okay that's it, that's what I remember. What's left is forgotten.
I feel like a dufus, I should've said "Have fun" or "Good luck on finding a neat tie". I don't remember saying any of that which makes me feel I'm a mean, careless person.
Ugh. Never mind. I'm gonna send him a comment on friendster about his tie shopping.

EXCRUCIATINGLY EXHILARATED

O GOD. O GOD. O GOD!!!!!
God, I can't describe this bumpy feeling! I feel.. happy.. so happy.. excited.. GLORIOUS.. EXHILARATED.. I COULD SEARCH FOR EVERY MEANINGFUL WORD THAT MEANS "HAPPINESS" IN EVERY LANGUAGE!!
I'm hyperventilating now. There're dozens of butterflies twirling in my stomach. It's such a graceful, beautiful feeling. My mind is spinning. I can feel the powerful urge of screaming out of joy, because crying isn't enough to express it. Feels like nothing further could ruin this perfect day of my life!
This is so unbelievable. Okay, I have to restart my heart first before I begin.
I know I just posted a loco shit just half an hour ago.
I had made my decision, I called him.
I was shaking so bad when I held the phone, I couldn't stay still. I had to walk here and there to calm my senses and had to type his number twice, I got it wrong at first because of my trembling fingers.
Calling..
Connected...
Ringing....
Ringing.........
Ringingg.............
Where the heck is he???
Ringing..................
I'm dying out of shivers here.
Tut tut tut tut.
No Answer.
Damn!!!!!, I thought. So I tried again, this time I had a little control.
It was the third ring when a woman's voice said, "Hello?"
SHIT. I shut the phone off expeditiously. I started shaking again. A woman? My thoughts were wandering in confusion. I started talking to myself about this unexpected incident and the probability of who she is.
Maybe she's his mom, or any of his family. Could possibly be his new girlfriend. But he would tell me if he had one, wouldn't he?
Before I was started to go insane, I decided to call him again. Maybe when he recognized my mother's number he knew I was calling, so he gave his phone to any of his girl family to trick me. I wouldn't give up if he did that. He'll think I'm a coward or whatsoever. So I was going to prove the exact opposite by redialing his number.
I started redialing again and again but it wouldn't connect. I was frustrated that I messed up my hair with one hand and the other was pressing the stupid buttons hopelessly.
Till finally, it worked.
Connected....
Ringing....
Ringing.....
Please pick up.
"Hello?"
Finally! A male voice!
"Er..Hello? Is it you?"
What a stupid question.
"Who's this?" he asked back.
"You don't recognize my voice?!" I shouted, hysterical, awkward.
"Oh it's you! Hahhahaha.." God, his voice was so magical even though he's not an immortal vampire.
"Haha, stupid. Your voice hasn't changed a bit." Here my line comes. Awkward as I felt.
"Really? Yours too. Hahahha." Oh the sound of the ringing bells.
"But yours seem like an old man's." I have to humor, or else it will be just a boring call.
He laughed and teased me.
"Where's your boyfriend?" he asked.
I wasn't surprised, he asks that frequently whenever he gets the chance.
"I've got none. Where's your senior? HAHAH."
That's something private that he told me. But funny.
"Yikes, shut up!"
But I enjoyed this so much.
"How are you?" he asked again.
What's with me? I had to check myself if there really was something.
"Told you I'm fine like always."
"Do you miss me?"
Is he a fool? That's something that doesn't need an answer! He's doing it on purpose. Only one way to get out of this.
"I thought it's you who's missing me."
Reversing statement.
"What?! I'm not missing you." he replied in a teasing tone.
"Really? Oh c'mon just admit it. You're such a coward bastard."
"So whose number are you using?" he changed the subject.
"My mom's."
"WHAT?! With a card?! That's expensive! Why can't you use Yahoo! phone programs?!" he was half astonished, half mocking.
"I don't want to." Since I don't know how to use it. I think he knew, though.
"But that would cost a lot. Okay then, it's up to you. So, why're you calling me?"
He's so doing it on purpose.
"You asked me to call!" I said with defensive tone.
He just laughed and asked,
"Are you gonna call me again?"
I've prepared an answer for that.
"NO. Next time, it's your turn to call." Because it costs my breath whenever I dial your number.
"Hahah. Okay, I'll call you sometime."
"Fine. I gotta go now. Bye"
"Bye."
And that was how it ended.
You may think, there was no special words. No compliments. But hear me out, hearing his masculine voice just made me feel a great joy. Because when I just shut the phone off, I jumped over and over excitedly, I could even hug any person who was in front of me.. who was my lil brother's friend.
I feel so thrilled, that it still lasts now running all over my body. Butterflies of different colors flying in my stomach -sounds crazy, lol-
I wish I had said more. I wish I could tell him how I feel, or give him a small hint.
But I'd regret it, anyway. And after all, I'm not sure if it's what I feel or not so it would bother him too. AND most importantly, he's got many there! I've got many here too. And we're miles and miles and miles away from each other.
So, it's just rational to shut my tongue now.
HAHA.

STAMMER

Oh okay, I maybe not be the sort of person who logs in to blogger and stuff my personal events daily. I just posted yesterday, yeah it was something silly, so today I'll make it up. But I think my entire blog posts are just trivial. Nothing important.

Well, first, considering the day of Idul Fitri, those of you who're celebrating it, Happy Idul Fitri Al-Mubarak. From the deepest, bottom of my heart, I apologize sincerely for holding you any grudge, my selfish behaviour, or for ever making you feel uncomfortable or depressed or any lousy feeling. There's nothing more that I desire -oh well, except if you want to give anything material- than your sincere forgiveness. You know, forgiveness is the sweetest revenge -grin-, even vampires make mistakes. Sorry, I didn't mean seducing you to forgive me. In fact I did, it's just that the truth bout truth hurts, so we lie -right, kath? *smirk*-
Forget it, I'm beginning to lose my sense.

I love this day, in fact, it's still 12 o'clock noon. But even the morning started great, i hope it ends as good as it started.
It's the forgiving day.
Oh, I bet you're already sick out of boredom hearing the word forgiveness several times. But don't you like peace and serenity? Human's heart will never feel serene or safe when it holds grudge. Even if you're on denial, your life won't flow easily, bad luck will always find you.
Oh well, my point is, confer forgiveness for anyone who asks for it, I mean, what do you have to lose except a bad reputation? :P

Help me here, I'm trying to make up my mind. I'm so indecisive. I can't even decide this insignificant choice.
Hmm.. Should I call him? Or just save my credit? *er, correction: my MOM'S credit.
I KNOW! This is so immature. UGH.
I mean, if I did call him, what are we gonna talk about?
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Awkward. Lame. I'm already feeling like a total dork.
Except that I perfectly realize the conversation won't go like that. It would be more, aggressive. I think.
"Hello?"
"Hello!"
"Omg! Your voice hasn't/has changed (a bit)!"
"Karina?"
"Yes, you monkey! You don't recognize my voice? You're so mischievous!"
"Oh you, I thought it's my senior who calls me every minute asking how I'm doing, she likes me very much, you know."
There he goes making me fume.
"I didn't mention anything about your senior! I just called you, as you asked me to, how come you're the one who's being rude now?"
"I thought you knew me. I'm always rude to anyone!"
Oh well, there he crossed the line.
Okay, this is insane. I'm just gonna call him really, now, I guess. Damn, my heart's thumping so hard. I'm about to get a heart attack.
The only thing I'm afraid of, I can't really talk if my stupid heart is beating this way. Well, I can talk, but fast and the words stumble each other, so the sentence doesn't make any sense. And, there he mocks.
Done here.