My life turned upside down on a Thursday morning. Thursday horrible hideous morning.
But I'm fully alive now. I know life ain't easy. And I perfectly know, I have friends.



After several talks..

C : "Why're you quiet today, cow?"

N : "You want me to be noisy, sweetheart?

C : "....."

N : "You okay?"

C : "I'm fine. You're the one who's being weird."

N : "I do love you."

C : "Used to."

N : "What's wrong with now?"

C : "It doesn't show."

N : "Gotta go."

N has left the conversation and will receive...

Oh what the fuck. History repeats itself sometimes.


I have a bad cold that I blow my nose every two minutes, I probably used two or three boxes of tissue. It's causing me an excruciating painful headache. And I can't talk, cause I can't breathe through my nose. Gee, don't feel disgusted, I still look pretty. (HA! Now you're satisfied.)
Thank God I'm done with my period.
That reminds me, mom forced me to skip school and stay in bed tomorrow. Shit. I have Nicky's math notes which I'm supposed to bring tomorrow.
Just, how could this get any worse?
HOW, GOD? *melodramatic mode's on
Okay, I need more tissues.



Dear ____,

I know how you doing, just now we were online talking bout you wanting me to be your girlfriend even if I lack the ability to be a musician (what you want your dream girl to be) and you straightly went off,and I'm quite sure that you're not gonna bring up that topic in our upcoming conversation again. You've always been like that. You tell me you love me, but tomorrow you act as if you've never said so. Your behaviour is as much as bewildering, sometimes you're being rude for no reason and the next hour you begin to feel pity and reach me with kindness. It brings me to think of what I feel for you, if I love you or not. And if I get lost, I would begin to wonder if you love me truly, or if I'm just a common girl you're toying with.
You bring me a great sensation, a wonderful feeling without you realizing it.
I notice that we've been getting along better lately, you constantly surprise me with what I can't imagine you still recall of our history background, when we were holding hands tightly.



At school, we have this annual Best Class contest. Yes, I know, so typically tedious isn't it? Though, this time was quite fun. Nearly.

Art class.

Katy: (talking while distributing some torn paper to each of us) Guys, I need you each to write on the piece of paper I handed, what theme would you pick based on our class decoration. You could mention anything that crossed your mind. Fashion, music, football, etc. But please hurry up. I'll be collecting them in less than two seconds."

Oh well, at least she knew something about democracy.

(after two seconds, approximately not)

I wrote music, by the way. It's the first natural thing that had 'crossed my mind'.

Katy: Ok, guys. Lots of you have chosen fashion. So that's it, fashion it is. (smiling ruefully)

I could tell she was obviously satisfied. But, oh gimme a break, you guys. Is there ANYTHING but fashion? I mean, fine, fashion isn't that bad, I wasn't totally rejecting the damn idea particularly. Okay, maybe just a teeny tiny bit. But, gosh, fashion is just so friggin girlish with girls wearing bizzare clothes and glittering make-ups that itches and all that. You know what? I admit, I like, no, I absolutely ADORE european, american and asian fashion. They just make sense and look fab and not lame.
In contrast with arabian fashion. I don't know why, but everytime I pass by shops in Cairo and caught a glimpse of a cool piece of cloth behind glass, I would check at how much it costs and where it's made from. Frequently, it reads 'made in China', or as a matter-of-factly 'made in Indonesia'. In that circumstance, I usually all of a sudden feel greatly proud of being an Indonesian. Like, 'Wow, this is what my country has accomplished. It's what they're professionally expert at. They'd just built this new department store in Jakarta where it sells clothes designed by ancient Indonesians.'
Yeah, right. Except that it's burned up now. Burned to ashes. The terrorist of Bom Bali did it.
Anyway, I just don't normally pick any item that says 'made in Egypt, by the pharaos'.

Seriously, this falling in love thing is getting me nowhere but to craziness. I wonder how that relates to fashion mode. Guess I get what they mean now when they say,
crazy lil thing called love. Except that I don't care. Or at least trying hard not to.



Geez. I feel dizzy, and noxious. I'm having period. God, why in the world did I mention that? My mood has been really cranky today. I can't stand talking to anyone. Even mom. Plus, I skipped school. I don't like skipping school, I always have to check what they took when I was absent. And my condition is soo not fit in doing so. Gosh, my head is throbbing.

I'm so grateful. I made friends at school. I mean, kind friends. Friends who I hang out with daily. Friends who stick with me for nothing. I'm not intending to have close friends. But they're ok.

I got this thing sent from Crystal. Let's get this over with.

Six Random Things About Me
1. I'm neither tomboy, nor feminine.
2. I'm Indonesian, but I don't speak very well.
3. I hate my hair.
4. I have weird feelings whenever I talk to my ex.
5. I wear thick glasses, which makes people think I'm smart (or dork). But I'm not.
6. I hate living in Egypt.

Six Random Things I Like
1. Cinnabon, world's famous cinnamon rolls.
2. Maths. Maths is heaven on earth.
3. Electronic devices, laptop, computer, cellphone.. whatever, you name it.
4. Play music. Gosh, it feels blissful whenever I touch those strings.
5. Fiction movies and novels. Unrealistic but entertaining.
6. Photography, though I'm bloody sweating my ass trying get a appreciative shot.

Six Random Things I Don't Like
1. Bitches. I mean, real fucking bitches who know nothing but showing their fucking fake acts just to get boys.
2. History. Never got along with it.
3. Winter. Defers my shower time. Then, I'll stink.
4. Out of credit. Which is needed for my cellphone to be connected to networks. How can I survive a day without internet at school? Unbelievable, I can't imagine putting myself into that.
5. Having my period. Sucks like hell. Brings nausea.
6. Roller coasters. Fast and high. Perfect. NOT.

Six Quirky Things About Me
1. Wear caps at home, or outside. Makes me feel cool. LOL.
2. Tear off my lips' skin when it's dry. Bloody disgusting.
3. Sketch musicians when I'm bored.
4. Think of my feelings. If I love him or not. But I usually end up asleep.
5. Sleep after school.
6. Play "Warmness on the Soul" on piano, Avenged Sevenfold's. Never missed a day.

Six Things That Make Me Happy
1. Spending time with them.
2. Figuring out a specific song's keys.
3. Getting what I've been wanting for ages. Satisfaction. (e.g: currently waiting for Twilight movie, which is coming in less than a week)
4. Good weather.
5. New cool clothes that suits my taste.
6. Pure victory.

Six People To Forward
1. Ririn
2. Hasna
3. Lia
4. Lynn
5. Nisa
6. Nashe

P.S: This isn't an obligation.


Gw lgi di xul skrg. Bete abis gw hahaha. Sengaja gw tulis pke bahasa indo biar temen2 gw yg di kelas gk ngerti. Hahah setan abis.
Ni temen gw duduk deket gw drtd pengen bisa baca bahasa indo tapi lemot banget tampangnya terus kalimat yang keluar malah blak2an jadi bahasa yg gk mirip bhs indo. HAHHA. Kocak abis ni orang2 mesir.

Niwei, gw bete nih ga ada kerjaan di pelajaran komputer. Mestinya tadinya ada quiz, tapi sejak gak ada yang belajar, yah jadi gitu deh, paham kan kan kan.. geje emang. Hahah.
Oiya, terus tadi gue disuntik Vaccine. Anjrot sakit bgt. Ya sedetik doang sih pas suntikan itu masuk di kulit gw. Kata my nyokap, kalo disuntik gak boleh panik, kalau anda panik, suntikan itu akan terasa sakit. Jadilah gue dengan jantung yang super deg2an, mikirin hutan2 hijau dan burung2 berkicau. Ngaco emang wkwkkw.
Dah ah bosen ngisi ginian di kelas. Abis ini ada quiz filosofi lagi. Bangke abis tu guru ARRRHGHH. Tpi setidaknya gak ada guru bahasa Jerman. Dia bikin ngantuk.
Got over the worst.



It's been awhile since I've been meaning to create a 'to do' list with colored paper and colored pens to raise my sensation. I've got tons of work undone thanks to my infinite homeworks and quizzes. Otherwise I'm just lazy or not in the mood. For instance, take a look at my room..
Okay I changed my mind; don't look. I could lose my self respect. I'll just find words that's close to describing it, since it's... okay I'm speechless. It's overwhelmingly messy, looks like it was raining- clothes. Wow, I've just spotted my Calvin Klein underwear (you must be vomiting, can't blame you really). It's like a cave man's room who had just came to a city acknowledging how-to-make-myself-at-home. Except that he has underwears made of stone.
Okay, that obviously must be written at the top of the list with a red marker, meaning urgent, or emergency. Emergency suits it more.

To be continued. I'm sleepy. Funny, I was already sleepy an hour ago and the reason why I'm not asleep yet that I've been waiting for a specific person to show up, I'm not supposed to be waiting for him. I was beginning to get used to our midnight talks and now all of a sudden it halts. Fine, suit yourself. Now I'll never go to sleep. Na-night.



Err.. I don't know what to type really. I just had the urge to post somethin. This is unimportant. I advice you not to waste your time reading my garbage.

I've just watched "So You Think You Can Dance", man that show was awesome. Showed plenty of super talented dancers that fascinated the judges and entertained the audience (including moi, of course), and also they usually let famous singers and bands perform live on the stage once in two shows (last night was Katy Perry!).
Looks like I'm promoting, hahah never mind, since I've got nothing to blab.
Oh, right. I've fixed internet on my cellphone, so if I get bored (or not) I could go online in a matter of seconds. Now it's like, I'm 24 hours online. I'm even online in my dream. Hahahah, okay I'm getting nuts. Byes.



I don't get her. I mean, she's my mom. What? Couldn't she trust her own daughter, for God's sake?!

Sorry. Off topic.

Physics turned out to be a piece of pie, by the way. That's just weeks ago, coz I haven't been having a slight chance to post anything. I haven't really been busy. Just lazy.

This weekend I was supposed to go out, as usual, girls night out. Sounds girlish. Yuck. Anyway, you get my point. But suddenly I feel like a bitch. Like it's inappropriate, ya kno. I think I must decrease the percentage of hanging out. Well, yes I admit a few weekends ago I just get fiercely exhilarated and impatient for the weekend to come, but all that I intended was to get together. And now it's messed up. D'oh. Fine whatever. Go with yourselves.


Yiruma - River Flows in You
I heard a rumor that, this song will be played in Twilight as Bella's lullaby. Oh well, we'll see then. But either way, listen to it, a calming and serene piece. Matches it's title.