was SPECTACULAR in various ways.

Future Language School (FLS)
Nine in the morning

Attending the final-last exam, final-last day (for me) at school. Exam was horrible, don't wanna fuss about it cuz I screwed up. Maybe I deserved it cuz I haven't really been good to God.
Schoolmates were as friendly as they were the first time I had met em. Only, I met the ones who click with me more. I can't believe they were all so bummed about me transferring to another school. I thought they didn't like me that much cuz I rarely blend in with anybody. Just a standout for being a foreigner.
But it was OK for me cuz everyone had been so sweet and loving. And I'll always remember every each of them. So we took photos, not a lot and not enough, cuz I had to go to another place. But we planned going to the movies later at noon.

Al-ola Language School
About eleven

Fadilah called and told me she was at Al-ola, my previous school I'd attended for ten years approximately. Not actually my favorite. But I miss my al-ola friends and teachers. So I thought I'd drop by. But the guards said all of them were on the other branch. We didn't bother, it's too far.

Around twelve

Not very crowded at that time cuz we were early. Bookfair opens once a year, along between January and February, lasts less than a week, sells various books with various languages (but only the major ones) and incredibly various prices according to shops, from the costs-more-than-a-coat to less-than-a-penny. Cheap and used books are usually available in shops built with tent and wood racks and everything's dusty, messy, humid and crowded. We had to walk carefully so we don't stumble anything. But it was absolutely worth going there to buy a book for five to nine L.E which costed hundreds in Virgin Megastore. Fadilah bought a plenty. But I only chose two and bought an interior magazine for my mum.
Fadilah bought mostly the books I wanted to read, so I'd borrow it from her later when she finishes reading it instead of spending money on it just to collect.
We spent four hours browsing in bookfair.

Citystars Mall
Three thirty

I went home and changed. And set off with Fadilah, again, to Citystars -middle east's biggest mall till 2oo8, I acknowledged-
Fadilah was meeting up with her friends in Al-ola whom she became close with (and I hadn't) and I had plans with people from FLS. We split up and decided to meet together again when we're done cuz we had to go to Aminah's family farewell party at the Indonesian embassy, her father was an important guy in the business world and they were flying back to Indonesia, never to return (I sound like one of those narrators in thrillers).
So I met Dina and Shaden and a couple of their friends I didn't recognize but were very nice, especially this girl named Suhaila. And Shaden's lil brother was really cute-looking. We wanted to watch Twilight although me and Shaden had seen it already (and didn't mind seeing it again) but the seats were full, not to mention other movies too. It was everyone's last day of tormenting exams and it was a break season. So we just wandered off and decided a place to eat. Dina, Suhaila and me preferred Sbarro, Shaden and the rest picked Burger King, we intended to sit together, but we ended up in groups. Dina and Suhaila were fun people. As we wandered aimlessly, we judged every face of handsome guys we saw. We constantly bump into people we know. Surprisingly, I met Fadilah's older sister.
We were looking for a present for Noura's belated birthday, and Dad called to say he was already at the party and I'd better be going there now. I told my Egyptian fellows that I had to leave and they were very disappointed, particularly Dina, and promised to hangout again sometime.
I met up with Fadilah at McDonald's and hugged friends of her who I was familiar with, we took some photos and left together. Before exiting the mall, we bought takeaway coffees from Costa to drink in the cab. Cuz it's a long bridge to pass to reach the embassy.

Indonesian Embassy
Around seven

We took off of the cab hurriedly and entered the embassy with an emergency of going to the toilet, and eventually we blended into the crowd and found Sandra (ya kno, the SIC girl who's one of the nice ones), and chatted with her group. I found myself already adapted with plenty of SIC students, cuz most of the night I mingled with them tattering about whatever and teasing each other. I also talked to both of my soon-to-be classmates, not actually talked, just a short converstion like:
Girl 1: 'Heey, here's our brand new classmate!'
Me: 'Hehehehehe'
Girl 1: 'So when're you gonna start?'
Me: 'Err. I have no idea, yet.'
Girl 1: 'Alright then, we have to go, see ya.'
Me: 'See ya.'

and bump into another one:
Girl 2: 'Karinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.'
Me: (calling her name)
Girl 2: 'How ya doing?'
Me: 'Great. You?'
Girl 2: 'Equally great. We're gonna share classes, right?' (winks)
Me: 'Sure. I have to go now. I'll see you at class.'
Girl 2: 'Of course. Bye.'

Oh FYI, one of my soon-to-be classmates was going to leave SIC cuz her dad was fired or whatever. It relieved me a lil cuz I never got a long with this particular girl, but on the other hand I felt sorry for her.
Anyway, it was a great night. I got along with plenty of SIC people, I shook hands with my new principle and asked his permission of wearing pants not skirt considering the uniform.
I watched my lil brother performed playing drums (he was so incredibly cool, I was extremely proud of him that I recorded every moment of it).

It was spectacular as I had expected. Unforgettable in many words. One of the best days and nights.



Tomorrow is Thursday.
Tomorrow I won't sit at home.
Tomorrow isn't going to be cold.
Tomorrow I'll be going to the movies.
Tomorrow I'm setting off to the book fair, hopefully.
Tomorrow will be an amusing day.
Tomorrow I have Islamic theory exam.
Tomorrow is the last day of infinite tests.
Tomorrow dad will give me an amount of money.
Tomorrow I'm doing anything I want.
Tomorrow, is the closing stage of anguish.

Sunday, it will start all over again.



Zooey Deschanel
I love her, and I love her style in the first one.

Let's be frank, I never liked Egyptian girls. True. Originally, they love doing belly dance, put loads of make-ups exaggeratedly, idolize Arabic singers -making me puke, talk with an oh-so-extremely girlish voice which sounds really pathetic, and have a lame sense of clothing, choosing outfits that outline their plump and flabby silhouette.
You get my point.
But before you assume the wrong assumption, I'm letting you know that nowadays, my point of view towards them are about to alter. Oh well, not completely. Because everyone's different. And I just met different people at school. Just when I was planning to move. Sad. Really Sad.
Let me introduce you to Shaden, Noura and Dina.
Shaden is a half american and half Egyptian girl who wraps her head with scarf like nuns, but in a cool way. Her skin is translucent and she's got freckles like Ronald Weasley. She's very calm and sincere, isn't really the type who frequently blabs incoherently.
Noura is a blondie. She's hot, but she's faraway from feminine. Her features are perfect with each other but she doesn't bother emphasizing her beauty with cosmetics. She's very boyish and she talks brutally. I doubt that she even thinks whenever she talks. She declared it herself, she never really uses her brain. But I extremely adore her kind heart.
Dina is the wildest. Man, she never stops jabbering about almost anything. She recognizes almost everybody at school and almost everybody love her commentaries. Including me. She's very social because she's aware of topics which approximately every teenager tattle, whether it's in relation to movies, music, trips, gossips, boys etc. I feel comfortable with her cuz sometimes I'm a quiet person among Egyptians but D, S and N are the only people at school who just get me wholly.
Tsch. Never thought I'd get along with ppl in this country.

On the other hand, I gained a phony friend who treats me all with her fake niceness and sweetness, but she's a snake under flowers.
Let's not talk about it, it's bad cursing people behind their backs.
In fact, let's not talk at all, I'm tired.



I'm so grateful for having wonderful friends. Particularly big fat thanks for Lynda and Fadilah for doing a tiny birthday surprise party at midnight with all the birthday cake, birthday candles and birthday presents. Hehe.
And thank you for the greetings from everyone, a 'happy birthday' from anybody even from a stranger mean so much to me. Thank you thank you thank you. I can't thank you enough, really.

If you ask me, my sixteenth birthday wasn't really bad, but it wasn't also the best, err as far as I could remember. Yeah well, it's been five or six days since my birthday and every freakin day I have at least one-subject exam.
Finals, endless torment.
Anyway, I didn't celebrate except in that petite sudden surprise.

I have Geography tomorrow. But it's much more merciful than physics. Physics is the core of evil, mind disease. But Geography is really long and takes time, it also bothers me coz it's in Arabic. So I'm not really into studying it, I'm not into studying anything now. I'm enjoying a new game I've been recently playing.
Oh yeah. I'm not even attracted to anything related to fashion, since clothes and accessories in Cairo are lame and expensive, nothing really fits my taste.
But damn. Polyvore shows me stuff I'm craving! See, everytime I see an item, I go like, 'Omg! This one's really cool!' and the next I see another one I'd repeat the same statement over and over inexhaustibly. None of those things really exist in Egypt. Egypt has crappy stuff. Oldies. Crappies.

By the way, we fought. Nate and I. I admit it was my fault cuz he said 'Eh kecil mungil' in an inconvenient situation when I was currently filled with fury, so I roared rage to him accidentally.
He made me bomb.
But puhlease, who started the 'you're-a-stranger-to-me-now' thing first? He'd never say sorry for that. He'd say it directly, 'you're nothing to me.'
Dude, I don't know if you've been anything to me lately. But I apologized genuinely and apologizing to anyone is extremely a struggle for me, so if you could at least appreciate what I did and just get over it, that would be good.
Otherwise leave my soul alone and sing Timbaland's song.



Crap. I forgot where I've put my old Burberry diary! I hid it somewhere in the apartment, but no idea where, I've searched every closet, desk, drawer, practically everywhere, everything.
I'm fully aware that the diary isn't really very important cuz it contains nothing about my pathetic life but the lovey-dovey stuff. Yeah who else but my ex?
Anyway, I scribble in it every two-three months about my constantly vague relationship with my ex (not that we're still together), I started using that diary since I've met him and all my favorite texts and poems he made are in there. Not to mention our entire arguments and sweet memories (which seem so abhorrent now) is fully written day after day. But since we've broken up I rarely opened it. And since it's too personal, I kept the diary locked, and the key's gone now, no idea where but I could always smash-break the lock cuz it's really tiny.
However, it's gone now. And that concludes, whatever between me and Nate is gone too. Past (perfect) tense. But I gotta admit that losing that diary is totally a bummer. If the diary is in my hands now, I'd write down:
Dear diary,
Me and Nate occasionally have conversations now, aside from our miles away distant, I feel like I couldn't start talking with him when actually there're really alot of stuff I wanna talk to him about. Yes I miss him very much but he acts like a jerk and that makes me hesitant. He pisses me off everytime we have the chance to talk and he ruins my peaceful mood. I doubt that he remembers my birthday. Not that I care, or at least trying not to. But seriously, we're still friends and I'm always there to hear his adventures with his new crushes even though it crushes me. He doesn't deserve me. But still, I can't seem to let go of him. Or maybe I just assumed that I love him when I don't..

And so on. I feel like a spoiled bitch. How can anyone say this about a stupid boy? I sound so fragile and weak. And it makes me sick.

I'm supposed to be studying (I say this too frequently nowadays) physics now cuz tmrw is the final. I hate physics. I hate Newton. Why did he have to create those intricate rules and impel me to memorize it when I, not even in my wildest dreams nor my worst nightmare, wish to be a boring physicist setting up mathematical equations on my entire life. Was he really bored back in those days where there were no myspace, friendster and facebook and preferred explaining all those gravitational laws (or law?) I mean, I'd be more than interested to get to know him if he chose to be the creator of myspace, friendster and facebook.
I'm cursing Newton because physics exam has to be on the day my age upgrades a year.

My fate sucks, really, truly.
And Newton sucks more.
Nate is beyond sucker.


TU ME MANQUE, beaucoup really

Egypt feels like Antarctica today without the snow. Thank heavens it doesn't snow here in Cairo. I think my teeth are gonna scattered into pieces resulting from the clutter and freezing and my bones are gonna crash.
I'm over-reacting.
Must be from the cold. LOL.

I woke up at four in the morning as usual (darn, when's this gonna end?) just to study Arabic. I hadn't studied anything and the exam was in three or four hours. And the lessons were just a burden, including Arabic literature, Arabic poetry, Arabic history and all Arabic crap. I kept my patience because this would be my very final-goodbye Arabic exam since I'm transferring to 'another school'(don't know why I'm still not used to saying it).
We had two papers and we took each in separate period, the first one contained Arabic literature and writing, was a piece of pie. Like, I finished it in 15 minutes (not meaning to brag, but that's a record *wink*) when we're given time 1 hour and half, except that part of writing which was about 'Teenagers are the mirror of the Future', I had to write it down in English and translate it word by word. After approximately a decade learning Arabic language, I still find difficulties in writing, so I frequently use that method coz it usually works (just like it did this morning. ahahahah)

Anyway, the second paper included Arabic poem, another literature and grammar. Grammar was never a problem for me. But dang! Poetry and this piece of literature knocked my head off. I squeezed my brain till there's nothing left of it to remember things that I've forgotten. So I wrote anything related to the answer down. I made sure that no question was unanswered, even though I made almost everything up. And.. voila! I wrote something correct after I accidentally heard my utterly superbly brilliant friends jabbering about answering it wrong and let me know the correct one! And voila again! I got it right. HA! Who expected this one coming?

By the way, I was in the playground when all the Arabic chaos had finished, and I passed a group of junior students. And suddenly someone touched my hair gently, and I instinctively turned my head to see who dared to do so, and I faced an Egyptian girl who had a curly brownish hair with glasses covering her round eyes, yeah she was pretty, not a usual feature of a typical Egyptian, then she -all of a sudden- giggled and said,
"Omg! She's so adorably cute!"
and I was like.. and my head was like.. *speechless*
and I immediately thought something like,
"Omg! She must be a lesbo!"
then I ran away, HAHAHAHA.

I'm really extremely sleepy to the max. My eyes are red like newborns *again* and my face is pale (but I can still blush). I might go to bed, but the waking-up-at-four-in-the-morning shit is seriously bugging me. What's with that period, anyway? Azan Subuh is at five.

Gotta go. Geometry final's coming tomorrow. WIZMILAQ. lol.



Man, yesterday was extremely exhausting.

I wrote about my sleeping trouble, aight? So last night I didn't sleep till four in the morning n woke up at seven sharp coz I got plans with Lynda to 'study together' at Beano's. Really, sitting at the cafe in the morning with all the quiet and peaceful atmosphere (except that there were boys sitting behind us laughing like jerks) soothed my head. And I was almost able (if it weren't for those gay boys) to concentrate on studying physics and finished three units with only a cup of cappuccino caramel flavor (which had no taste of caramel at all).
Anyway, after that, I had to go home to change into the school uniform coz I had Arabic Guidance or whatever to catch up, it was optional, but I was really failing in Arabic and the final is on Saturday.

I catched three buses on my way to school. And it was fucking humid. Which felt good coz it's winter and freezing, and I got a short-summer-breeze day.
The teacher gave us instructions in Arabic grammar only, which wasn't doing me any good coz I've already comprehended the tactics since moons ago. The only thing I was falling into was the Arabic literature, billions of words I don't know what the hell it means and I had it hard to understand paragraph after paragraph.
He didn't mention any of the literature section and he looked like he was in a hurry grabbing his sunglasses and his too-many three phones (he's an important instructor in Arabic sector), so I didn't bother to ask and decided to ask dad's help in that.
I was thinking of what to do at home when I was on the way and I thought of why not go to the park just to take pictures. I hesitated because I normally don't like hanging anywhere without a company. But I hate to be alone at home more when I have nothing to do but staring at nothing. Geez nothingness bothers me. So I phoned Lynda. She suggested going to Cilantro instead of the park. I thought 'two cafes in one day? I must be frittering money away sloppily' but what the heck. Besides she wanted to study there. So off we went.

Later, I went home at eight night. Nobody was back. So I played internet for awhile and started to feel all lethargic. I got so happy and hoped I could sleep and wake up in the morning shining. Anyway, I did manage to sleep, but it was kinda uncomfortable coz I was slightly awake all of a sudden every one or two hours. But then I force myself to drift off again. Till four in the morning, I couldn't sleep again.
Seriously, exasperating.
Fine, I thought, what the heck I'm gonna play Zoo Tycoon till I get drowsy. Didn't work +_+
So I'm still awake while I'm typing this. I think I need a consultant. PFFT.

Damn. I really miss Nate. Wonder what's he doing.



Is it my bad luck, or is it fate that every year my birthday must always be in the middle of the fucking finals?!
Oh well, I don't celebrate my birthdays anyway since I was twelve, I think. But still, I just wanna sit around my friends on the day I'm getting old. Not taking some excruciatingly intricate physics exam! I just 'can't hardly wait'.
I can't believe my age is getting on every year and my body isn't even nurturing. What the hell is wrong with my body, I wonder? I gain weight, and the next day I lose it. HHHHHH maddening.

I fancy lomo cameras. Especially the Holga type. Lomography accentuate casual and spontaneous photography. Snapshot, blurring, 'happy accidents'. Not to mention I recall they have a motto, sounded like 'Don't think, just shoot.' It suits me because I hate thinking. But I doubt I would find it here in Egypt. Coz things here are either just too modern or waay too classic. And unquestionably too pricey. Besides, I don't think dad would let me buy one. Unless if I saved money. Come to think about it,.... Nah. Not likely.
Talking bout saving things.. I've been collecting posters lately. And stole some from the magazines at the school library (I just couldn't resist cutting out Panic! At the Disco's), I've also been planning to dangle them on the wall, but everytime I'm idle I just prefer doing something else even though I thought about doing it.

It's 5 AM. My sleeping time is very unusual recently. Following vampire rules. (Not involving Stephanie Meyer's blood-drinkers). I sleep at the day, and awake at night. No coffins or bats, thank heavens.



The reason why I've converted the layout, because my acquaintance Crystal used the same former layout. No offense, Tal, and nothing personal. I just feel bizarre drawing on the same layout with anybody nearby.

It has been almost like forever since I've opened my deviantart. Feel free to criticize, comment, fave, whatever you wanna do. It's musty anyway.
I really miss toning, texturing, editing, cutting and pasting in Adobe Photoshop. I feel like I'm not capable anymore. But I know once I open the program and have an illustration stuck on my mind, I will work it out, like playing a song you haven't played for awhile, you know.
I'm suddenly interested in showing off some shots. Just so you people recognize my utterly cute, lovely, glowing face. HA! Talkin bout over-confidence.

this is how I really really really look like

yes, this is how I look like after the plastic surgery. ha!

this is my most favorite photo-manipulation

these are my best friends at home

this is the geeky brother and the charming sistah

these are the two most precious people I cherish since I was born

left to right: Nuriya the most mature, Lynda the most moody, me the prettiest (as if), Fadila the most chatty, Deedee the most serene, Putri the coolest
(I'm being generous, because I've uploaded this image even though I don't look good *tongue out*)

last but not least... my dearly-loved husband. i loves him forever, and neither you, nor you, knows how much he means to me. hahahhaahah


The Unique Award. *deliberate

Got this from Firah. Love ya babe. *smooch*
I've been missing alot of 'homeworks' and tags. So this one comes first.

The Rules :
1. Pajang award ini di blog anda!
2. Beri judul "The Unique Award" pada judul postingan anda!
3. Jawab 3 pertanyaan ini !

. Benda unik apa yang lo punya ?
hmm. pengen sihh

2. Apakah elo mengoleksi benda-benda unik ? kalo iya sebutkan apa saja !
nykp gw punya banyak th...

3. Apa penyebab elo bisa membuat dan mempunyai blog yg 'unik' ini ?
jajajajajajah karna yg punya orgny 'unik'

4. Berikan award ini kepada blogger lain yang mempunyai blog unik seperti punya lo ! (boleh berapa aja)
Wildo, Hasna, Lynn, Crystal, Inez. i think the rest has got it already.



New Year's Eve
First and foremost, I wanna say happy new year 2009!
Frankly, 2008 wasn't satisfying, but I'm thankful to God that I'm still inhaling and exhaling healthily *I assume* till this day to rejoice this new year. So many memories, so many (new) people interfered in my life, so many new personalities I gained in 2008. And hoping for the same and even better in 2009.
Okay, I'll quit being all formal and ceremonial.

1. Be a better person.
No idea how, but will figure it out. Thanks for friends who were *and still* willing to help by bursting out my bad attributes.
Try to be a lil more religious, meaning try to the utmost, pray five times a day and murmur God's name frequently.

Stop talking about people's peccadillo *I admit that's harsh* behind their backs *how? No idea either.*
Okay, you get it.

2. Study hard.
Not what I had in mind but can't find what else to 'resolute' since it only revolves on number one.
Since I'm transferring to SIC, positively, I should be gingering up with the subject matters especially when most of them are in Indonesian.

3. Keep contact.
With friends abroad. Because lately I grasp I've been a loner that for them it looked like I had lost interest. Except to one particular person. Not gonna clarify.

Okay mainly, I'm gonna need to renew my personalities to be enhanced and if I botched, I'mma have stick with who I am now, which I don't know who. Whatever *sigh

Petite Affirmation
Without letting you know the pros, I declare that I will transfer to SIC *all too ceremonial again*
I've made my mind up last night when I went for the new year's eve party which was held in the Indonesian Embassy. At first I didn't wanna go because I had plans spending the new year with my friends whom I was positive weren't heading to the embassy. But mom and dad compelled me.
Of course, the entire SIC were celebrating there and I wasn't close with any of them, but a few are really nice people who don't mind an outsider *like me* hanging out with them.
I waited in the picket room so by the time my friends had arrived to pick me up, the process would only take awhile.
The sound of the door opened startled me and interrupted my quick thoughts. Sandy (SIC's principle's first daughter), Adam, Gale and a girl I didn't recognize, came in. They're SIC students but the ones who are okay with me, but I didn't know about that girl.
Sandy and Adam were very surprised to see me and went frenzy. It's what I really like about them, not being hypocritical like others. Gale's a calm and shy boy, and has always been like that *at least in front of me* but I never minded as long as he respects me. The other girl turned out to be a sweetie, her name's Raven, she said she'd heard about me and she treated me equally. But I couldn't help but wonder what she'd heard.
Anyway, Adam said the party was prosaic because parents were doing lame karaoke parties and they couldn't stand it, so they decided to have a walk alongside the Nile since it's just around the corner. They invited me so I agreed.
We took photos and chatted vaguely and laughed at silly things *specifically at Adam* It was one experience I've never had with people from SIC *my ex is a one exception* Because mainly, we don't live in the same street since we were born and so there's like a barrier between us making it impossible for us to have a bond. Not all of the SIC people could see that barrier, or possibly ignore it's presence, people like Sandy, Raven, Gale and his sister, Adam and.. *with complete deliberation* my ex.
We were all too tired and freezing cold from wandering so we walked back to the embassy. I hesitated on the door but Sandy said it was okay because she, Raven and Adam would stick with me. So I entered with vacillation and, as predicted, SIC students scattered everywhere. But later, the weird thing was most of them greeted me after I blended, and they look... relaxed, like I wasn't a burden. Of course my soon-to-be classmates treated me like a statue, except one though, her name is Cameron, she's always been kind to me in a teasing way. While she was hugging me, her other friends looked away avoiding meeting their eyes to my direction.
Raven called my name to sit next to her and there were SIC students surrounding her and so I sat there and talked with them. Surprisingly, they suddenly asked me if it was true what they had heard about me shifting school, I said 'yeah. Probably, but haven't made the decision yet.' They asked what's the problem and I replied with all fakeness 'I think I won't blend with the uniform since all of you guys wrap your heads.' I managed to smile, then all their reply was 'don't worry, you don't have to wrap yours. We'd love it if you settled with us!' they smiled back sincerely and I decided to stop giving excuses which closely seemed related to the cons of transferring. Then I thought, yeah, what is the problem, anyway? They all seem to approve my attendance around them, and kindly offer assistance. Then the soon-to-be my classmates' image appeared and I found myself not caring a hang.