For some reason, I haven't been down.
Probably because I'm obliged to participate in the flag hoisting team for Indonesian's Independence Day ceremony on 17th August. And the training schedule has been so severe and intensive, like three times a week of marine soldiers exercises. My body incessantly felt cramped like an old lady.
But just look at the bright side, at least I'm busy doing something. Morever, it's not just anything, it's part of being loyal to my country. Part of nasionalisme. It's just like sacrificing blood to your nation. But I'm sacrifing fats.
And when schooldays have begun, my schedule (omg, I hate this word) got more tighter and stretched. Exhausting every cell of tissues of organs of systems of my tiny fragile body, working some fat off of my body, if only I have any.
But, I have purposes. And it's quite a long story. And I'm a bad storyteller, (but trust me, I'm gonna excel storytelling in about a couple of months, it's sorta part of my 'purposes') plus, I was planning to post about it another time, but I just frequently wonder, when is "another time"?

Argh. I'm sleep-deprived. And I'm feeling drowsy.

I miss the touch of your hand in mine.
Your love warms me like the morning sunshine.
I miss ur breath on my ear as we embrace.
I miss the softness of ur cheek when I touch ur face.


When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. - Anatole France

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
- Helen Keller

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
- Sam Keen

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
- Abraham Lincoln

"All love is sweet, given or returned."
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
- Soren Kierkegaard

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. "
- Anonymous

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
- Winston Churchill

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
- M.K. Gandhi

"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older."
- Abraham Sutzkever



Mom has been pregnant now for nearly 6 months and a half, so in about a couple of months, I'm about to have a sister. Wow. *dances*

I have a boyfriend. But only after we're together for five days, he'd gone back to Indonesia. And yes, it was out of his hands. Long distance? Huh, I don't know how long it'll last. We'll just go with the flow. Well, for now, there hasn't appeared any sign of breaking-up tension, yet. Though, I admit, seems to me my memories with him are a lot more in calculation than mine with Nate. A lot more intimate, if I may add.



Every evening after school, the five of us used to get together at the school's playground. Only the five of us.
Usually, Helmy would grab the black basketball which had always been left there and played with his heart. I'd just watch how he played, and how the wind blew his soft hair.
Zacky would just sit aside, his green headphone on his ears with his iPod turned on to the highest volume, that sometimes I heard vague music rhythms blasting from his headphone. But sometimes, he would join Helmy.
Rani and I would sit under the stairs that lead to the school's roof and listen to Rani's iPod, Rani would share her earphones with me and share her favorite songs. Even though most of her favorites didn't fit in my music genre.
Auli would come late because he went to a different school, and by the time he appeared wearing his usual school shirt unbuttoned with a black jersey underneath, Helmy would greet him with over-excitement and usually cried like, "Hey! Here's my best bud!" while dribbling the ball and walked over him. Auli would just laugh and smile, and fight over the ball with Helmy.
And the rest of us would just laugh at the scene.

How I wish I had a brilliant mind, and become the Time Machine inventor.



Lately, on Thursdays (or any day we feel like doing it), we watch new downloaded movies at Zacky's, still with those same faces. We became really close now, that we share every personal and random things. And what made them unique was that, each of them were different people with different special characters.

For example Zacky, he's the fat dude and sort of our bodyguard (omg, he's so gonna kill me if he read this), he's the emo guy who frequently doesn't give a shit on what people say about anyone, or isn't interested in hearing about anyone's lives. The kind of person who just goes with the flow and just chill and relax. Poles apart from his mother. He's more like his dad. Man, I LOVE HIS DAD. The perfect man.
Zacky's always there whenever you need him, but he never needed anyone. He has got the brilliant mind, the physics geek.
Zacky's in the same class with Rani, just the two of them.

Rani, is the closest person to me at ISC, the person whom I always unhesitatingly share the deepest feeling I endure. She's the most loud and cheerful among us, the one who always manages to laugh and smile under any situation. And when being sad, she's the most melodramatic. Drama queen. Nervous. But she's strong if we all stood by her and encourage her.
She's the oldest, btw. But she acts like a 6 year old girl. That's why we love her.

The youngest one is Auli, he's only 13, yet, he's the most sarcastic. His jokes are all ironic, but were able to make us all laughing and rolling on Zacky's mother kitchen floor. He likes psychos, thinks that psychos are really brilliant coz they can kill anyone with anything even with napkins. To me, he's the most rare person because, I don't know. He comes up with peculiar and enthralling ideas, yet they sound logical. He enjoys basketball and football, but right now he's been feeling blue because he was kicked out of his football team, and his best friend, who later happened to be my boyfriend, had flown back to Indonesia. Long story.
Auli isn't a student in ISC, he's in Pakistan International School.

Helmy, I'll just skip this one later, coz it'll take more than a paragraph.

To confirm our togetherness as an unbroken bond of camaraderie officially, we named our small group A14I. Reasonably, all of our names ends with the letter I. Except me. So there're four Is, Rani, Zaki, Helmi and Auli. And one A, for Karina.
At first, I thought A14I sounded like a jet plane's name. But whatever. It symbolizes solidarity and unity.

One of our unthinkingly juvenile and impractical thing to do was that, if someone talked and mouthed out a sentence, that, if we listened carefully, wouldn't make any sense, or mixed up the words accidentally and came up with a wrong sentence, we'd just laugh and laugh and laugh on it over and over and over forever and ever and ever. Like, once I was at Zacky's and I was on the phone with my mom who was frustrated because I wasn't home yet, and she asked if my phone was dead, and I said nervously, 'saya gak mati hapeku' (I'm not dead my phone). Well, to mom, it sounded comprehensive. But to my friends, I remembered how they laughed to tears when they heard that sentence coming clearly from my mouth. Zacky's face was all red from the laughing, Helmy's stomach was aching, Auli resisted laughing, though I perfectly knew he wanted to laugh so bad, and Rani almost threw up. Haha. Hilarious.
I love them to death.

FRIDAY, 290509
Dad went to Algeria and stayed there for four weeks, business trip. After I'd gone back from the airport, I went to ISC because I had physics tutorial with Aula and Helmy. Yet, I couldn't focus on any of what the teacher was trying to explain. Because there was this incident, when we were studying, we caught a junior ISC student threw her phone on the ground harshly, and cried. We asked her what happened, and she said there was some girl who insulted her with pretty bad words. And so the whole junior girls at school was so psyched about it, psyched and melodramatic with all the cries and the curses. Darn, how did they become like this at this century? They acted like female hyenas.
So after the lesson, I couldn't go home, because Mom was at Dad's boss (who's a woman), whose apartment was no far from school. So I decided to catch up with mom, but when I got there, I got so bored that I told mom I was going home by myself, but mom insisted on saying no. So I told her I was going to Zacky's and phoned Helmy to pull him on a trick, Zacky's place was near too, just needed 10 minutes to walk to his apartment. I was planning to lie to Helmy when I told him to pick me up at Yudi (Yudi is my dad's boss' son, who knew us all), even though I just met Helmy half an hour ago, but I knew that A14I would be fused at Zacky's, like any other weekend. Helmy said 'okay but you should buy me lunch', and as far as I knew, if he said that, it meant that he was joking, and that he wasn't gonna pick me up. But he actually did, you know. And from that moment I felt something, but I quickly ignored it.
All the way we walked, it felt awkward, just the two of us walking, we normally walked with more than three people. But since the midsemester, almost every night we chatted online, and since then, there wasn't a night that I felt friendless. It was just that, from the way he talked online was alot different from the way we talked face to face. It was nearly confusing, if he hadn't always brought up our conversation at class every morning on what or who we chatted or joked about the night before.
When we had arrived at Zacky's, all five of us out of boredom, answered useless and pointless facebook silly quizzes. And laughed on the answers.
Laugh, laugh, laugh. Was all that we did.



THURSDAY, 210509
Helmy picked me up on the way we were gonna hang out with the same people I've been hanging out with at Zacky's, except that Auli wasn't coming because he had a lesson. So it was only me, Helmy, Rani and Zacky. At first, Rani said we're planning to go to Ramsis, and as far as I know, Ramsis Square is a big bus station in Cairo. And what the hell was there to do in a bus station while the weather was melting hot? So to discuss more about our destination, we gathered at school. The conclusion of the discussion was that I've misunderstood. What they meant was Ramsis MALL, not the freakin bus station.
Oh yes, they laughed about it all day.
It was such an amusing day, although most of the time I was the object of teasing.
Later on, we went back to school, because we've walked around every corner of the mall approximately three times and we got bored. School was empty and lonesome, like a ghost cave.
Helmy, Zacky and I decided to do a lil bet on a basketball free throw. We'd been doing it frequently, though. The loser treats us ice-creams. And the loser was Zacky. Hahahaha. But he refused the bet. So till now, he still owes us a free ice-cream.
Oh and when he'd found out that he'd lost, he threw the basketball madly and just randomly, and it happened to hit my head quite harsh. DAMN. Now he owes me double ice-cream.
After that, we went to Chima's house, one of me and Helmy's classmates. Because Rani was told from her aunt to get a deposit from there. But all that happened was that we laughed our asses off because some woman who was staying at Chima's had a laugh that sounded more like a frog. HAHAHA. Even Chima's parents couldn't hold their laugh.
Amazing day.

FRIDAY, 220509
Went to the Pyramids for the millionth effin time, but this time was to be a free-paid guide tourist for my dearest new-welcomed aunt.
Yes, I was just being nice and sweet. And fake.

TUESDAY, 260509
Math lesson at Aula's, another of me and Helmy's classmates. Helmy had been interfering annoyingly quite often in my life nowadays. And had been criticizing the way I lived.
I don't know if it was coincidence or that fate was playing tricks on me.

It was quite a medium day (wth is a medium day? idk. just feel like sayin it). In this day, another SIC student flew to Indonesia. SIC is truly getting lonesome. I mean, I think the rate of the students couldn't possibly reach to 50. So pathetic.



THURSDAY, 140509
Went to Zacky's home and watched Push, together with Rani, Helmy and Auli. It was sorta the start of a regular ritual of a tiny friendship.
But it was a droning movie. I spent half of the time smelling the exquisite odor of the person who was sitting next to me.

SUNDAY, 170509
A small seminar and dialog about 'Student's Motivations to Success' was held at school, it was kinda boring, and I frequently went astray from what the moderator was saying. But it was also useful, to certain listeners.
Right after that, Zahra invited a certain people (including me, yay!) to her small farewell party at KFC. She'd been so kind to me, that I felt really sad of her leaving for Indonesia.
Right after that, we gathered at Zacky's again and watched Knowing with the same people I've last time watched with at Zacky's. It was certainly better than Push, but it wasn't impressive, although the visual effects was undeniably striking.
Mom's big sister had arrived today all the way from Indonesia. She passed a few of traumatic incidents, but she still seemed tolerant and humorous. She's got the teen spirit. That's why I adore her. She's alot different from mom. Who has the strict-in-everything mom spirit.

MONDAY, 180509
Zahra had gone to Indonesia. All of the students went to the airport to wave her goodbye.
Already missing you here, Ra.

Ate at Chillis, celebrating mom's birthday. Happy birthday, mom.

Because I already feel sleepy.