10.22.2009

CONSCIOUS

Recently, I watch myself. I was planning to do a self-introspection. But since I'm so ignorant and careless, that plan is now canceled "involuntarily".

I realize, that not being on time, would make me regret things. That in the end, most of us would turn out saying "it's too late."
No, don't expect me to arrive on time at school just because I mentioned this. Hah, that is a waaay farrrr different thing from what I was saying.

I don't know how, and why, exactly.. where.. has my confidence gone? I used to be good at this. But now I'm feeling like I'm sinking in a shallow pool.
I'm tired of hearing people say, "just enjoy it," or "you're good at this, you'll win."
I know how everyone's just being supportive, and yes, that means a bundle thank you from me. But no, that's not the problem. Oh I don't know, that maybe is the problem. Why it hasn't put on any effect on me..all those words from not just any people, but the people I love.

How life could be so frustrating.

10.10.2009

STAYING UP LATE, WHEN I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO

How dare I leave my blog unposted for.. how long has it been? Okay nevermind. Nobody reads it anyway. HAHA. That sounds pathetic. Tsch.

UPDATE NUMBER 1:
I now, officially, have a lil sister. Born on 3rd October 09 at the Cleopatra Hospital. Official name: Amira. Official name personally from her big sis: Amira Viranti. I dunno, 'Amira Viranti' is more complete. Though I dont really know what Viranti means but.. damn is anything that's beautiful has to be reasoned?
Amira cries a lot rly, but once we shove the milk bottle into her mouth, she completely stops wailing and her pink cheeks are like chewing a gum. She's so incredibly cute. And when she poops, she has this weird n funny expression on her face saying 'Hey, don't interrupt, I'm concentrating on pooping.'

UPDATE NUMBER 2:
I've achieved my purpose. Remember about the selection? I passed it quite well. But y'kno whuts surprising? I got the highest score at singing. Truly, this is so unexpected to me. Because at the audition, my throat was rly hoarse and I don't think I produced enough vibrations and so I was a bit tuneless. And moreover, there were couple of my friends whom I think, sang really better than me.
But regardless, I freaking passed the selection!!!! *YEAAH!!!!* So my energy and fats weren't sacrificed for nothing.
And so, my schedule is filled with: singing practice, singing practice, singing practice, sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep. God, I'm sleep-deprived.

UPDATE NUMBER 3:
We moved to a new apartment, closer to my school. So the moving session took forever with all our abundant and bulky stuff. And the new apartment is somehow tiny. We actually had to flip the sofa vertically to fit the rest of the things, including the telly. But it's quite nice to move into this area, except that now I dont have any excuse to be late at school. But nonetheless, I just still can't be on time. I think it's the genes.
And I think eversince I've moved to this neighborhood, where I'm only barely 10 kilometers away from my friends' houses, we get together more often, go out more often, eat outdoors more often, sit at cafes more often and more importantly, SPEND MONEY MORE OFTEN. And to wrap it up, my wallet looks like a human who is urgently lack of blood.

UPDATE NUMBER 4:
I know how long distance is truly unbearable to most of us. But if I think about it, I just can't let go of my bf. Because I sort of doubt that I could never find anyone as unique as he is. He's like the Chinese panda, one of the endangered species, standing at the line of extinction. He's so rare. He NEVER gets mad, I don't know if his heart is made of the same component of most of our hearts. And in conclusion, we hardly ever have a row. And just every night I think of him and the five days we've spent together before he had left to Indo, and when I wake up I find myself dialing his number involuntarily. God, I'm so obsessed. I haven't seen him for 3 months and half, for fuck's sake!!!
I just can't wait till November.