was weird.

I got this surprise present from a guy best friend, and I'm so happy. Why? Because I got more presents. And because he, particularly, gave one for me, unnecessarily.
He's so kind. And full of surprises.

Just a few days ago, I felt my feelings go away y know, like it's all gone and vanished into thin air.
And I don't have a clue of what I'm feeling right now. I'm so becoming senseless.

I learned how to paint on canvas. *satisfied*



My back hurts.
This month has got me all completely worn-out. Starting from the farewell party of my school principal, my birthday, the new headmaster, the new classmate *YAY!*, especially band practice. God, my energy's all absorbed.

Think I should have a massage.
But then again, is there any in Cairo? Hahahahahahahahahahahha *laughing sarcastically*

Can't believe I'm seventeen.
I still look seven, and act like one.
Seventeen is a big number.
In fact, it's too big.



I observed that my previous posts are so ridiculously sad. I talk a lot about serious stuff, and I'm becoming grumpier than my grandmother. So why not let it be different this time?

Let's discuss about a common topic that all girls just love to natter on.

So, the question most frequently asked is, have you ever fallen in love?
According to book writers, love is something powerful, invincible, inseparable and etc. And I believe in that, I just don't think I've experienced the feeling. It's not a game, so I don't toy with it. It's not knowledge, it can't be learned by theories. It's completely unreasonable, because when you fall in love with someone, you must not have a specific reason to explain why. If asked pourqoui, the answer would be the same as why the sky is bleu, or why the sun is froid, or why your breath smells, or why the leaves are green (because they have chlorophyll which provides the cell colors of green, D'OH); because everything's meant to be. Because it's written by God's pure hands. Because it's because. Get it? (Getting more vague because this isn't her type of topic).

And because love is that complicated, I don't think I'm ready to really fall in love with any person, yet. And because love is just too simple, it takes time for a complicated person (self-reference) to experience it.
I know I have a boyfriend. And he's not just anyone. He's someone I like, I need, I care, and I miss every second. And he's like a drug to me. (I'm a pathetic girl who is constantly in need of cuddles from her boy, who is far across seven oceans).
I just don't know if he's the person who I'm destined to fall in love with. We talked about this, you know. He said he's not sure too, he doesn't get these things, same with me.

But we've done a lot of sacrifices, faced our deepest fears to accomplish it. And we still keep needing each other so to fill our emptiness of our lives.
Usually, he's the reason why I stay up late, or awake earlier than the days before. Most times, he's someone I'm always looking forward to talk to about just any random thing, even though it has only been five minutes since he went offline. Or someone who makes me smile just too often that my lips stick like that for more than awhile.
And that's scary.

I think this is dangerous.
I think I love him, and vice versa.
I think this post is ridiculously sadder.



1. The best dad in the world had bought me one of the best cameras in the world.

2. I had a big row with Mr. Longdistant because I got jealous when I saw his wall-to-wall with some attempting girl. I know they're just friends, but 27 wall comments are just too much.

3. But eventually we made through it. With tears, caps locks and exclamation marks. And for a second, I thought I'm gonna lose him.

4. I got the second rank. Okay, maybe I should be grateful. But I thought, I could've gotten the first rank, if I pulled on it better.

5. I get hungry almost every three hours. Hope I could gain an ounce of weight this year. Sometimes being terribly skinny is terribly horrible, especially when exposed.

6. I need to watch more movies.

7. Mom's beginning to piss me off when she interferes in my love life. No worries, mom, I'm still a pure virgin. How can I even make love with someone who is 9875,305893 kilometers away? Cyber sex? Lame.

8. My birthday is in eight days. All I want for my birthday is to watch a gay movie and a plane ticket to Indonesia. OMG I'm gonna be seventeen? OMYFREAKINSHITSLAPMEGODDAMIT.

9. Three of my closest friends, my friends, my life, my crying and laughter, the people who I've been spending almost everyday of my life for a year, are gonna leave Cairo in approximately three months. Prepare for a mental break.

10. My lil sis is growing, her eyes are getting wider, her cheeks are chubbier, and her talking becomes more formless. And I keep loving her more everyday.

Here're pictures, so to not keep you bored.



I wanna list the movies I've watched in 2010. So here goes the two first movies.

Watched the 3D, great movie, great effects. But the 3D glasses kinda made me feel dizzy.

Tricky and confusing, but genius. Slept in the middle of the movie.



Frozen moments.

I don't know what my friend Fadhilah is pointing at, maybe my hidden boobs attract her.

I love this one

Before we set off.

Who's that girl holding the mic? Wohooo I look so melancholic


I wish you loved me. And needed me.


I know it's late and my eyes are red from being sleep-deprived. Thanks to the time I've spent awake studying for the semester.
But I really wanna share you guys how my last day of 2009 went. It was so incredibly boring, but so enjoyable in many unexpected ways. Haha.

So anyway, like every year, the Indonesian Embassy held another new year party. But also, like every year, the party became so boring. Except the part when I stood on the stage and sang my hoarse voice out. (Fact: Yes, I did sing. Yes, my voice was hoarse. No, I still enjoyed the moment. Despite the hatred look on my dad's boss.)
However, after I performed, Zacky, Rani, Auli, Yudi and me decided to just run off and watch a midnight movie (hopefully AVATAR 3D), instead of spending another tedious New Year's Eve as same as the one we've had last year. We're not supposed to leave, because it was almost egoistical to just spend the new year anywhere else, when the Indonesian Embassy had done a lot to make this party existed. So we've kinda sneaked out.

We stopped by two cinemas, both of 'em would start the movie at one in the morning. We couldn't possibly go home at three coz we were still young fellows who'd be grounded if we'd gone off limits. Except Yudi, who was an official elder. So he abandoned us and set off to meet his friends who were as same as his old age.
Meanwhile, the rest of us just wandered on the side of the Nile River, and contemplated it's beauty as the lights of the city reflected the river, making it glitter colorfully and creating an extraordinary masterpiece. (What am I now? A poet?)
And we started to tell each other our 2010 resolutions.
We brought fireworks, but we forgot to bring matches and none of us were a smoker because we profoundly believed that smoke causes impotent (although only two of us who had a male thingy), and we were just a bunch of youth who would forget a simple yet important thing as that.
We took pictures, except Auli, who was a phobia of cameras. I still don't know why he didn't like any part of his body appear in a photo.

And this one that's coming, is the BEST part.

We went back to our neighborhood and chose to relax at Costa Coffee. But in order to go there, we needed to pass in front of our school. And when we've reached the other side of the road of our school, we saw an Indonesian Embassy bus transportation. It's function was to pick people up to attend any Indonesian Embassy festivity and take them home safely by dropping them at the Indonesian School. Because everyone's apartment buildings here were just located near the Indonesian School.
So we immediately got panicked because if they had seen us, they would shoot us with questions like where'd we been and why were we spending the New Year's Eve alone with ourselves. So we hid behind parked cars like criminals who were afraid to get caught and crawled (not literally) to a darker and safer road.

But just before we turned into the left corner of our destination, we faced another outsider. And hid behind parked cars again. I giggled quietly beside Zacky, I couldn't control my laugh because this all felt incredibly silly. And I wanted to pee so bad.

After the outsiders were gone, we continued our walk. We just needed to cross the road to reach the cafe.

But then we spotted Zacky's parents' black jeep parked just a few kilometers away from Costa. Zacky got really truly paranoid because his parents (particularly his mother) were an overprotective ones, who wouldn't approve if their big boy got nipped by a tiny needle. How could someone as big as Zacky (who was as plump as a watermelon) get hurt physically? That's as same as waiting for the clouds to rain money.
Anyhow, Zacky didn't wanna get caught because if he did, his parents would order him to just come home. And Zacky definitely didn't want that.

So we hid behind a parked car -again- for the third time. But this time was just more dramatic because Zacky acted like a mafia who was about to get shot by the police if they'd found out his hidden place.

Eventually, we stopped acting like secret agents. And faced back our real, boring life, and ordered Frescato Coffee.

I could never forget this mad night.