So, it's been awhile. Again.
I know I'm such a sloth. I'm not into writing my daily or weekly rantings right now. Coz there's nothing much to spill. I mean, I guess my life has been quite a bore, it's like I'm role-playing a monologue drama. If my life were to be represented on a graphic presentation, I guess it would be a single remotely stable straight line.
But my friend Auli has been such a good company, that I'm not dying out of loneliness all alone.
Although he's quite a bit stressed out about his exams too. But his frustrated expression on his face which only makes him look like a five-year-old boy who isn't allowed to buy a candy just brings me laughter.
The tediousness of my life may be caused by Rani's departure to Indonesia. She's left for good to continue her studies in Indonesia and I'm pretty sure we're going to be united again someday and redo the same stupid things we've done for the past two (or three?) years. It's hard finding a person like her, she's my identically opposite personality twin. She completes me.
God, do I sound like a lesbian?
And the other cause might be how unbelievably strict my parents are being these days. They just don't understand that I desperately need space. I need to get out of the house once a day just to walk during sunsets. And for me to grant my wishes I really need to come up with reasonable excuses like I'm gone to buy some phone credits or bits of snack.
Sheesh, I can't wait to get to college.
At school, we've been practicing this salsa or cha-cha (?) dance. It's kinda fun, according to someone who isn't really into dancing.
I'm trying to enjoy my life. I'm really trying.
We aren't childhood lovers.
I don't work on your hat or cap or whatever that boy is wearing on his head because you hardly ever wear one.
I don't have that look on the girl's face, because I hate looking into your eyes. Because they get me transfixed and hypnotized. But I do love your voice, so much.
You clearly have that look on the girl's face when I'm talking to you. And I remember bringing that up on a conversation, and you just said, "Is it wrong? Am I not allowed to stare like that?"
No, you aren't allowed, because it's distracting.
But instead I just said, "fine, do whatever you like."
Notice that the photo has this soft tone, which signifies the serene and unruffled atmosphere. It's the kind of ambiance that I feel when you're around.
I'm quite determined that I'm not in the mood of love swings anymore, just because I'm a single woman now (oh what a surprise) and I put an end to the long distant love, doesn't mean that I'm off to finding a new honey bunny I'm going to lean on to (even though I lean on to you more than a couple of times, literally).
But I think of you every split second, you and all your sarcastic, absurd jokes, and your stinking smell of sweat that comes from your non-stop hydrated skin, and your absolute insensibility, and how you blink your eyes every couple of times because of your lack of sleep but that only makes you look more attractive and cute (the word cute makes me sound young, and cute), and how you link your arms to my shoulders every time we pass the road, and how you laugh at my shaggy dog stories even though they aren't shaggy enough (I know how this doesn't make sense, but you get what I mean), and how I constantly repeat to myself that I'm not feeling any of this.
And in the end, this usually turns out to be a musty post and my words are going to sound completely a chestnut.