2011's coming soon. And so that means, I'm getting bloody older by January. And it also means, 2010 is gonna be over *D'OH*. Gosh, this year's been like hell. Well, maybe for some months. I can't have possibly been frowning throughout the whole year. I guess the turning point was when four of my best friends flew back to Indonesia. But I think I got over that already. Thanks to some good people and my good self for taking the courage to overcome the loneliness. It all starts within you, don't they say so?

Okay, let's catch up with my not-so-interesting life. I don't know who reads this, except probably myself, after approximately 5 months, to see my life's progress. And I end up saying, "Ah well..".

A month ago, mom went to Indonesia with my brother and my sister. My dad flew back too, as usual every year, to work on an annual trading exhibition. But then he came back soon cuz his furlough was over. During those times without the presence of my mother, I learned how to cook (with extreme difficulties), how to wear proper clothes without my mom's fault-finding comments, how to manage time (even though I haven't completely mastered this one yet), how to wake up early without being shout at, how to take care of the house, how to commit sins knowing that no one's witnessing (okay you may scratch this one), and may more how-tos. Basically, I started to live independently.
Anyways, they're all back now bringing a new family individual. Yes, my mom's pregnant again.

Since I'm sitting at the last year of school *rolls eyes-still can't believe how time flies*, I'm beginning to face the college dilemma, every teenager's problem before getting on to the next major level. Exactly, the major. My parents want me to be a doctor. My math teacher wants me to be an architect. My Guru Bahasa Indonesia wants me to take philology. And myself has no idea on what to pick. I'm not even given the space to comment. I know they mean well, though, they do have the rights to provide directions. But am I not allowed to let my teeny tiny heart raise a squeaky voice? Of course I'm allowed. But my teeny tiny heart doesn't even know what field she's most interested in. Well, I am interested in medicine, except to satisfy my parents' wish, I'd like to be a pediatrician, cuz it also involves child psychology. The problem is that I'm aware that the faculty of medicine needs brilliant geeks with strong mentality and not be terrified of blood and corpses. What the shit I don't think I fit in with the category. But I'm quite sure that I'll willingly pass all of that along the tough road, just to fulfill my parents' hope.

I was, attracted by architecture. The whole idea seems nice and challenging. Despite the cost of the tools. Creativity is urgent. I can't even create a boat out of a paper. Meanwhile, philology sounds interesting too. But I don't think I wanna spend the rest of my life translating Bahasa Melayu.

Maybe the only solution is to get married young? Nah.

Oh right, about that. No, I'm not getting married to any rich man. Nor a penniless one. But I am a loser who's in love, with a loser who fell in love with a demanding loser like me. And I guess we're settled in being romantic losers.

Thanks for loving me at my worst.

Oh, before I forget, merry christmas and a happy new year! *sings Jingle Bells*