5.25.2011

PARANOIA

Hello, world.

Ah, that's a boring introduction, too typical. But that doesn't really matter now, because I'm about to write down the major changes of my life right now. It also doesn't matter who reads it or if nobody's reading it, but at least I could remember how my life went on when one day I become an old lady and read this blog of mine.

So, time flies, earth rotates, and I graduate. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I've graduated high school. Although, I would prefer saying I graduated school. Cuz you don't go to school anymore once you graduate high school. (D'OH)

I'm back in Indonesia. Jakarta, particularly. It's been more than a week, and I miss Egypt like crazy! Well quite reasonable because my whole family and the rest of my friends are still living there. It was a hell of a painful experience leaving them. Well, I guess you have to sacrifice some things to achieve success and make those people whom you left be proud of you when you get back.

To tell you the truth, I don't have any single idea on how to achieve success in Jakarta. Everything is freaking complicated, except if your wallet is as thick as your hairs in your armpit. Everything will be processed in an instant with MONEY. Gosh, people are so materialistic here.
Getting into a good university is a hard work too. It's easy of course if you get an invitation from certain universities, like how I got into the University of Indonesia. But I think I mentioned it clearly that the chosen major wasn't really my choice. *sigh*

I want to study medicine. I want to be a doctor who saves lives like in those soap operas. I want to be a doctor so that I could touch people's body.

Okay, scratch the last sentence.

I think, that's the reason why I'm here. I'm taking another university entrance exam to get into medicine. Although, come to think about it, there are better medical faculties in Egypt. I really don't know why I'm here.

Hehhhh. This stage of my life is hard.

Sometimes, you think you're interested in this field but you're worried one day the interest will fade away and you'll get bored and you won't get a job because you feel dull already and all of the years you've been studying is in vain! Oh I'm really sweating hard to avoid that. But making decisions has already been difficult to me. I don't know what I'll become. Who knows if I entered engineering and become a great engineer with a high salary? or if I entered medicine and getting a post is a struggle because people don't really consult with doctors unless it's a serious matter, and I wonder about unemployed and the six years I've been studying medicine are used for nothing?

I feel a bit panicky here.

But maybe, I should just try what's ahead of me now. I'll study engineering. I'll take the exam for medicine. And see what happens.

Wish me a good unpredictable career life.